At the beginning of the year I had the privilege to be mentored and be coached under the wonderful Elle Griffin, founder and editor-in-chief of Over the Moon magazine. Elle is also the host of Over The Moon Radio and is a writer & speaker of the Divine Feminine and a Catholic scholar of the Virgin Mary. She is currently completing her Graduate Degree in Mariology at the International Marian Research Institute at the University of Dayton and spends her spare time hosting full moon parties and writing young adult fiction novels. You can follow Elle on Instagram @griffinelle or view her magazine HERE. Elle is the one who inspired me to open the doors to my life coaching biz! It is so cool and a privilege to do what we do and I am so thankful for this dear heart and her influence over my life.
I’m sick of waking up each morning reading my inbox each morning full of self help fluff. Morning after morning there’s something about “I quit my job’ or “How you can be the next IT girl?” and then getting the case of the guilts that I need to work harder, produce that next e-book and perhaps be more bold.
It’s like one big popularity contest and I’m not the cool kid. And you know what? Who cares! Sure it seems glamorous to be able to haul your ass down to the local café with your cute little laptop while sipping an almond mylk chai while penning your next ’10 Ways to feel spiritually connected’ post but what we don’t see is how hard these beautiful entrepreneurs who have gone before as have worked behind the scenes. We haven’t seen the struggle, the late night melt down or the client who hasn’t paid up. Again.
When you look at me on the other end of your screen what do you see? I see a girl who has been busting her guts to get this life coaching gig off the ground. I see a girl striving way too hard to make things happen rather than surrendering to the process. I sometimes see a girl who feels the need to compete rather than celebrate and a girl ready to throw in the towel because working my ass off for no return sucks big time!
So I just spend 5 hrs writing my blog post for the week and I’m just not feeling it. This one you are reading right now is obviously not it. I thought I was supposed to write the previous post because I had woken up with this phrase from God “Be Holy for I am Holy” but the more I tried to write it the more it felt forced which lead to 5 hrs of pushing, resistance and fatigue.
And it probably doesn’t help that I have my periods and it’s wiped me out.
Now you’re thinking too much information Di, too much.
But hear me out.
I’m standing on the precipice of time…
Looking out onto the horizon and wondering what my life has in store for me…
I’ve reached the highest of highs and the lowest of lows…
All of which have brought me to this place in time where I stand with open arms waiting to receive…
I look at and see my opportunities. Some of them are so close I can touch them. Others are so far away that I would need to adventure to get to them… but I’m ready. I have so many stories inside of me but yet I can get stuck in stories.
You do it too.
You are there, waiting, looking out onto the horizon and you want to adventure to lands unknown but that scares you. You’ve heard about them, seen pictures on Facebook and Instagram but yet you’re not sure if you are really worth the travels. You don’t think you’re unworthy on the surface (although some of you are), but subconsciously you lack self-love and this manifests itself in playing small.
I lay in bed this Father’s Day morning thinking I should be getting up out of bed and doing something. Yet, when the thought of getting up when I have had nearly a week of interrupted sleep (can’t even blame my 5 month old Flynn for this one), rendered my legs to the sinking feeling of the mattress. My lovely husband David was home and we’d already celebrated his first Father’s Day with breakfast and a cuppa but he knew I was tired and said I should rest up.
And as I lay there, trying hard to sleep, thoughts were racing through my mind.
‘I should get up it’s his special day. I should be working on my blog right now while I have the help, heck I should just hop in the damn shower and just wake myself up.’
But I really sensed in my spirit ‘Sink in.’ So I did, I rested for a little longer, and although I couldn’t fall back to sleep it was nice to just pull the doona right on up and to close my eyes and to acknowledge the heaviness in my legs and the need to simply just be.
Right now your cute little spiritual practice is starting to feel a little woo woo to you rather than you you. (See what I did there…)
You have a hunger in your soul. You want more.
But you don’t want to DO MORE.
Spirituality can sometimes be like a piñata. There’s so many different layers that make up the final piece.
Yours might take the form of yoga, praying or even the art of lunar abundance and becoming in tune with lady Lunar’s cycles.
And that’s super cool…
If that’s what you love to do.
I’m back from my road tripping holiday to Sydney for the Beautiful You Life Coaching Academy Inspiration Day where I got to hear the beautiful Julie Parker, Dr Ezzie Spencer and Megan Dalla-Camina speak. I also came back from the trip with a souvenir cold so I’ve been resting up as much as I can. So today I have something special for you. Rather than talk about my trip this week and the lessons learnt I am going to save that for another week and I have this beautiful video interview with Elizabeth McKenzie for you.
I recorded this interview back in March and I was hoping to get it up on the blog then but Flynn came 2 weeks early! So I’ve been saving this for you and I believe intuitively that someone really needs to hear it this week.
Hey Hey Lovely,
So I’m still here feeling the heaviness. I’m still in that spiritual dry patch.
I feel icky. I feel like I’m anchored down. Weighted.
As I avoid processing my emotions each day, the worse the feeling gets.
Emotions of anger, injustice, sadness and unworthiness.
Suppressing the emotions is like a good ole’ fashion ginger beer. You know, the type that’s made in the bottle. I’m not a ginger beer making expert but what I do know is it can explode. It explodes because of the pressure caused by carbonation.
And for those of you unsure, carbonation is just the process of dissolving carbon dioxide in liquid. In other words it’s the stuff that makes it fizzy. The bubbles.
So my emotions have been like those little bubbles. Each bubble an emotion. Bubbling away inside of the bottle, waiting to explode because of the increasing pressure.
You see I’ve been bottling well. And just like Ginger Beer once it’s all released and the bubbles have settled it will taste good. (Just go with the story for now, even if you hate ginger beer. Apply it to your drink of choice).
I’ve been feeling spiritually dry of late.
Yep I said it. The spirituality coach is spiritually dry.
We all go through seasons where our faith is tested. Where we feel like God is silent. Sometimes, we actively avoid Him so we don’t need to process or grow through what He’s allowed to come into our life.
As you know I’ve had a migraine the past 3 weeks. Sometimes pain can just be that, physical but often it can be a sign that something needs to be done further. So I took a step back from looking at the computer so much and once I sunk into the emotion I realised I was really angry.
This year has been cracking me open in so many ways. I’ve had to learn new ways of doing things since having my baby Flynn 4 months ago. You see, he doesn’t care if I want to meditate first thing in the morning because he’s hungry and he wants his food now! (And by food I mean, I’m the food source). I want to work on the blog but Flynn’s having a good old chat on the play mat to his toys and I’m torn because I also want to join him there and delight in the simple things, just like him.
And it’s easy to look back on what was. The independent life. It’s easy to dwell there. To get frustrated and long for the old you. You look at the new you and you’re trying to figure out how to blend it with the old you. You want to move forward but you’re stuck. You sabotage yourself. The old rules just ain’t working for you anymore. Your sparkle has been dulled. Something happened to you and it’s rattled you to the core. Or perhaps you’re just in an entirely new season and the newness of it all is hard to navigate.