It was the last day of school. I’d cleaned up my desk, finished reports and had planned out the next term’s work. At the last minute I decided to check my business email as I really wanted to be present for my cute as a button toddler Flynn.
As I opened it up I saw ‘Congratulations’ peeping in the email.
I opened it up to see that CEO and Founder of the Beautiful You Life Coaching Academy Julie Parker had nominated me for a Shine Award.
I may have cried a little.
I have been working really hard behind the scenes to really make something of what I do, which is to help you as a woman with anxiety feel more confident and calm.
Cause having anxiety sucks. It’s freaking scary sometimes, like the time I was driving on a dirt road too fast and starting fish tailing across the road before stopping paper thin close next to a tree.
So I’ve been running my coaching business for just over 2 years now and in that time I’ve felt bouts of envy towards other coaches. You know the kind of envy that you get when you’re procrastinating on working towards your dream because it all seems too much and then you torture yourself further by going through their Instagram pages gobsmacked at that perfect downward dog on the beach just as a wave is crashing nearby.
They’re sooooooooo damn perfect!
Why is it they seem to get all the attention?
Then the questions start coming doesn’t it?
Is it because I’m not cool enough, drink enough green juice or use the right filter on my Instagram photos?
And perhaps you start equating it with your worth?
I am the whisper in the trees,
Can you hear me?
I am magnificent. Yours.
A soul whisper, gently on the breeze,
Speaking to your beating heart,
A heart that longs to rest.
Come, dear one.
Sit under the warmth of my branches,
Where I can caress you,
Nurture you, protect you from the heat of the day.
My leaves dance in your presence,
They delight in the beauty of who you are.
You are magnificent, the whisper gets stronger.
You are beauty because you grow in my greatness,
My arms stretch out over you,
You see shadows, but I see love personified,
Outstretched over you so these soul whispers can continue to get louder.
Will you listen?
Close your eyes so you can hear my message.
Deeply breathe in the oxygen I give you so freely,
Now can you hear me?
Oh little bumblebee, I see you.
Busying yourself, rushing around.
Pleasing everyone else,
Thinking that this is what you need to do to feel important.
This day was different. She had vowed that!
A rostered day off, how marvellous.
A fresh day, so new.
She began the day like she usually would,
But the bumblebee paused.
What’s the point in producing all of this nectar ,
If she couldn’t freely taste it’s sweetness?
The bumblebee decided she would go on an adventure,
She would take stock of all that was important to her,
As a high flyer she put her strategies out.
She knew she needed just enough structure to start moving forward.
As she mapped out her plan (with enough space to just have fun),
She felt the wind lift her wings up,
Like those majestic hot air balloons she had seen in her daisy filled field.
The bumblebee took flight.
She stopped to rest.
How soft the petals were…
And that aroma as sweet as the nectar she collected from it.
She had a taste of it now,
The bumblebee needed this time to be more productive at work,
For she wasn’t her work,
She was designed for far more than that.
It was to be a delight to her queen.
The bumblebee returned home,
With fresh vision and sweetness,
She knew that she wasn’t flying and competing with others for her nectar,
For each bumblebee collected a nectar that was unique to them.
Her nectar was the sweetness of knowing in her heart that she is loved.
She didn’t need to prove her worth,
Even though she knew there would be times where she doubted it.
The bumblebee was a vital and important part of her ecosystem.
Just because she chose to live.
If you’ve been reading the blog for a while you will have noticed I have been on and off sick for the past 3 months. To ensure my health can be given the priority it needs I am taking some time off to recharge and heal.
If you are looking for ways to help with your anxiety I suggest the following:
- Head to the closed Facebook group where women with anxiety can share openly about their struggles, their wins and cheer one another on. There are heaps of free tips in there (including free group coaching…umm hello? Soooo good!). You can join the group HERE.
- You can shoot me off an email, say ‘Hi’ and let me know how you are going. I’d love to hear from you. You can do that at: firstname.lastname@example.org
- You can subscribe and get instant (and Free) access to valuable resources to help you with your anxiety. There’s a meditation in there and stacks of books with prompts and activities to help you with your anxiety. You can sign up in the subscriber box below or above. I promise I won’t spam you.
I’m so looking forward to coming back into this space refreshed and with new energy.
Keep looking for the beauty in your ashes.
The past 3 months have cracked me open like a poached egg on a Sunday morning. Like the egg, I feel like I have been poured into the hot water, swirled around in amongst the vinegar and dumped out onto a dry toast.
I’ve had waaaaaay worse trials than this. I’m sure you tell yourself similar things.
‘This is nothing compared to so and so.’
‘I just have to put on my brave face.’
‘I’m just being silly. I’ve probably manifesting it up. You know brought it into existence through my million and one thoughts about it.’
So today I went down to the park with my cute as a (vintage) button 18 month old. I noticed that as he got out of the stroller he was so excited. It must have felt nice for him to go for a little exploration after his nap at home and a bit of quiet play time.
As I watched him climb up the stairs of the little cubby he’d go up to the slide look at it and then hide inside the cubby and start calling out to me ‘Hello? Hello?’
I offered the wee little boy a hand and he accepted it graciously and went down the slide.
So today I’m going to talk to you about something I’ve noticed you’re frustrated about. So frustrated like the way I am when I find out my favourite coffee shop is closed on a Sunday morning and the only thing left to do is grind my own beans and put it through the Aeropress.
Now even though the Aeropressed coffee is pretty sweet, there’s still that frustration there because I wasn’t actually able to go to my fav coffee shop to purchase my large cappuccino in those giant blue cups they provide. You know those ones that are as large as your head. I don’t get to just get away from it all for a moment. I’m left sipping my Aeropress coffee in my fav cup in the size of my 18 month’s old head instead. It’s too small and even though it’s super cute, sometimes there’s something about getting out and about, having the coffee made for you and just savouring the moment.
I see you over there sitting on your couch, curled up under the blanket as your child watches another episode of Giggle and Hoot. Guilt washes over you like a tidal wave. You feel bad that you’ve left them in front of the t.v yet you only just played with them. You have the lego mark on the bottom of your feet to prove it.
It can be tough being anxious and a mum. The questions come for you continually ‘Am I going to screw up my child?’, ‘Is he going to ruin his eyes watching too much T.V’ and ‘Maybe I should just let him cry it out’ bombard your mind.
It doesn’t help that people around you are also asking questions of you. Questions that make you doubt your ability as a mum. Questions like “Is your child sleeping through?” “Oh you rock your child to sleep tsk tsk” or “Aren’t you putting them into day care yet? They need the socialisation.”
Everywhere you look it’s like a tornado has whirled through your house. There’s toys all over the place, clean washing piling up in the baskets and clumps of hair all throughout the house.
If you’re anything like me it can sometimes feel like the to-do list with cleaning is never ending. It seems like you clean one area and then you look back over and it’s like someone has ransacked your house.
Totally frustrating and can add to overwhelm huh?