You’re here because you want the script of your life looked over.
Parts of your story you absolutely love (like that one time you travelled ‘Eat, Pray, Love’ style).
But others you gut wrenchingly loathe (like that long term relationship that broke up and your subsequent break down).
Perhaps someone ad libs a line or two into your life, leaving you to feel out of character.
Bad things happen. Yep. Sucky stuff that is sometimes out of your control. (Like that one time I took the corner too fast on a dirt road, causing my car to swish like a fish before stopping paper thin close to a tree).
But here’s the thing.
You can call “Cut” right now. You are the director of your movie after all. You can choose what you do with the rest of your story line.
And you don’t have to do it alone.
I know what it feels like to have someone try to creatively impose their personal script into mine. (Turning my romantic love story, with a dash of comedy, into a drama genre).
When my (now ex) husband disappeared when I was 21 I was thrown full on into distressed young woman role when I had been used to playing the happy, bubbly girl. I let his identity crisis affect my story line. This saw me allowing him into my life every 3 months. Just think notes left at home professing he was disappearing, never to be seen again. Police interviews at my house were the norm then, as were working up to 4 jobs to stay afloat once I had realised he had cleaned out the bank account.
But I found a new role and I finally took a stand.
Warrior, princess role!
I told him if he disappeared again to never come back without seeking significant help and I haven’t seen him since.
Warrior, princess then went on another journey but this time with party girl character. I drank, I party pashed at night clubs and at times I went from not eating to binge eating. I loathed myself and I sunk deep into a pit of depression and anxiety, complete with medication and counselling.
I prayed but it felt like God was deafeningly silent.
You know what? Warrior, princess had been there all along. (And so was God by the way). I fought my way back out of the darkness and you can too. Through it all I still knew there was a God. (And deep down inside you feel that spirit). I prayed a desperate prayer to get back into church and a young couple came into the restaurant I was working at and they were praying at the table. I asked them what church they went to and from that moment I began my journey back to faith. I met my lovely husband and years later my script took another plot twist. Infertility.
And in a single bound leapt “Anxiety Girl.”
You know her well don’t you?
She peppers you with questions (in an unsavoury way).
She makes your heart race faster than Phar Lap.
Anxiety girl makes an appearance when you have a special event on. She makes you feel like you’ve got nothing to say. She makes you think your friends don’t actually like you.
Anxiety girl is passive. You know, she wants to stand up and say something when people are walking all over her but she hasn’t figured out how to sssshh all those thoughts rampaging in her head.
When I struggled with infertility my anxiety went into overdrive. I couldn’t go to the shops without seeing babies everywhere and wondering why it wasn’t me. I didn’t know what to say to people when they asked me ‘why I wasn’t having kids yet?’ Then this turned to me blurting out I was barren because I just didn’t know what to say. Anxiety looked like me sitting on the couch after work in a daze. Anxiety saw me bursting into tears when pre-natal vitamin ads were being played on T.V. You know because I was wondering if it would ever be me.
Eventually I surrendered my fertility to God. I sought the help of a naturopath and acupuncturist. I did some soul work. I forgave myself, my ex and others. I approached God in a way that was unique to me. I sought counselling to help ease my anxiety. I quit doing things just because everyone else was doing them and I listened to the beat of my own heart and in full surrender this time I fell pregnant.
Anxiety is a part of my life in some way and it is a part of yours.
And it’s actually ok.
You’re here because you want strategies to help you when those moments of anxiety bubble to the surface like fine champagne when the cork has been removed.
Well darling, you’re safe. You’re in good company. Lean in. Wear your comfiest pyjamas if you want to. It’s time for you to embrace your anxiety into your next role. To work alongside of it rather than push it aside. To find out what triggers anxiety girl and how to dial her down. To show her how to put on her crown and step into her God given title.
Are you ready to take off all the roles you’ve placed on your life, not let anxiety control you and just be imperfect, but perfectly you?
My Spunky Self Facts (and random weirdness):
- I have a Bachelor of Education (Secondary)/ Bachelor of Arts. I received a G.P.A of 6 (the second highest rating) but when I initially found out I nearly cried because I thought 6 was the second lowest. I have a love of learning and my 7 years of experience as a teacher means I know how to ask you just the right questions to make you think!
- I am a trained Beautiful You Life Coach which means I studied at an International Coaching Federation approved course.
- I was married when I was 19. He went missing. Like really. Missing person’s missing. So not cool.
- I remarried a lovely man of integrity and after struggling for years with infertility I fell pregnant. We had our little boy Flynn in March 2015.
- I have mentored under the best coaches. Think gorgeous world changers like Claire Baker (This is Lifeblood), Elle Griffin (Over the Moon Magazine) and Elizabeth McKenzie . I have a teachable spirit and am committed to professional and personal development.
- I don’t like birds. In fact there’s a name for that: ornithophobia. I don’t like their creepy feet. I can look at them and admire from a distance but start freaking out if they come near me as I don’t want them to land on me with those creepy feet.
- I have wanderlust. I love to travel.
- I am a woman of contrasts. One side of me is girly and loves floaty floral skirts, wearing bows and having high tea and then there’s the other side which loves running around like a maniac playing laser tag, crossfit and wearing jeans and a plain t-shirt.
- I like to attempt to tell jokes…but I always stuff up or forget the punch line.
- I am a Christian but my parents are Buddhists.
- I love hockey. However, in 2014 I ruptured my Anterior Cruciate Ligament, tore my meniscus and fractured my patella (in other words totally snapped and broke everything in my knee), in a tackle. I got the penalty and was carted off in a golf buggy.
- I believe that when I life coach I help untap the things I need to know the most in my own life. As I guide my clients they in turn also teach me as I go through a series. Life coaching lights me up.