I’m sick of waking up each morning reading my inbox each morning full of self help fluff. Morning after morning there’s something about “I quit my job’ or “How you can be the next IT girl?” and then getting the case of the guilts that I need to work harder, produce that next e-book and perhaps be more bold.
It’s like one big popularity contest and I’m not the cool kid. And you know what? Who cares! Sure it seems glamorous to be able to haul your ass down to the local café with your cute little laptop while sipping an almond mylk chai while penning your next ’10 Ways to feel spiritually connected’ post but what we don’t see is how hard these beautiful entrepreneurs who have gone before as have worked behind the scenes. We haven’t seen the struggle, the late night melt down or the client who hasn’t paid up. Again.
When you look at me on the other end of your screen what do you see? I see a girl who has been busting her guts to get this life coaching gig off the ground. I see a girl striving way too hard to make things happen rather than surrendering to the process. I sometimes see a girl who feels the need to compete rather than celebrate and a girl ready to throw in the towel because working my ass off for no return sucks big time!
I lay in bed this Father’s Day morning thinking I should be getting up out of bed and doing something. Yet, when the thought of getting up when I have had nearly a week of interrupted sleep (can’t even blame my 5 month old Flynn for this one), rendered my legs to the sinking feeling of the mattress. My lovely husband David was home and we’d already celebrated his first Father’s Day with breakfast and a cuppa but he knew I was tired and said I should rest up.
And as I lay there, trying hard to sleep, thoughts were racing through my mind.
‘I should get up it’s his special day. I should be working on my blog right now while I have the help, heck I should just hop in the damn shower and just wake myself up.’
But I really sensed in my spirit ‘Sink in.’ So I did, I rested for a little longer, and although I couldn’t fall back to sleep it was nice to just pull the doona right on up and to close my eyes and to acknowledge the heaviness in my legs and the need to simply just be.
Right now your cute little spiritual practice is starting to feel a little woo woo to you rather than you you. (See what I did there…)
You have a hunger in your soul. You want more.
But you don’t want to DO MORE.
Spirituality can sometimes be like a piñata. There’s so many different layers that make up the final piece.
Yours might take the form of yoga, praying or even the art of lunar abundance and becoming in tune with lady Lunar’s cycles.
And that’s super cool…
If that’s what you love to do.
Hey Hey Lovely. The past two weeks I’ve been starting off the week by writing 3 new habits I wanted to incorporate into my week and then ways I could make sure these happened each day. My three habits of recent were to journal, read a book (for fun), and connect with God.
How I hope to achieve this is by using one of Flynn’s naps to journal or read and during one feed listen to a podcast and connect with God through prayer, song or whatever I feel like at the time.
It’s so easy to get stuck in a rut. Each day becoming a personal ground hog day.
So how can we combat that icky feeling?
By incorporating good self care habits and through serving others.
I’m pretty good with looking after myself as such. My guilty pleasures are body products, massages and facials. What I’m not so good at is switching off.
When I went through my trials many moons ago now, I busied myself. I covered up my pain through work, food, music, drinking…you name it. I didn’t want to leave a minute to think about the pain or to process it.
But here’s the thing. We need to process that stuff.
We need to dig right to the core of our being and figure out what God wants to do through us in the pain.
It’s sucky right when we go through bad things. But being loving and getting a real grip of that loving feeling is important.
So how can we do that?
So… I’m a social butterfly. Well… usually… Sure. I like my moments of quiet, but I’m not very good at the whole meditation thing. One minute I’m sitting there quietly…and then I’ll think about the poor plants in the garden which haven’t been watered for a month. Before you know it I’m out there trying to revive their limp looking lifeless leaves. Thanks to Elle Griffin in her blog post “Must I meditate” I feel less guilty now. I love this particular quote from her blog post:
“God doesn’t just meet us in silence, but in sequins. And women were designed to dazzle. So no, we don’t have to meditate to awaken to our soul, to meet God, to understand our soul’s purpose. We can do it the feminine way. The kind of way that feels a little bit more like drinking champagne and a little bit less like burning incense.”
Isn’t that beautiful?