Click, click.
Scroll, scroll.
My heart sinks into the pit of my stomach like the Titanic to the bottom of the sea.
I feel the slow descent of my spirit as I see my first husband has now remarried.
I’d only popped into Facebook to have a quick look. I was curious after all as to whether he had aged ungracefully like the rock stars of old (*cough* Mick Jagger style).
And also to check whether I was hotter than his current partner.
But there right in front of me was him, his new wife and 2 children parading their wedded bliss in front of me like ‘hey, hey loser, you totally failed and I win.’
I always felt like I had the upper hand. I had after all, remarried 9 years ok.
And even though I am sooooo unbelievably happy like a toddler in a lolly store, there are times where the wounds of the past are torn open and had salt water poured over them.
It stings with a mighty burning sensation but you know that once the water has been taken up into the wound, it will heal.
Scab over.
Be renewed.
It’s been a few days now, and to be honest it all feels a little raw (like that one time I got burnt out while kayaking). It’s still burning but I know that in time a new layer of skin will come on through once it has been shed.
You’ve felt the sting of the salt water haven’t you?
After all, that’s what has brought on your anxiety like a hurricane rushing in from the ocean and tearing up your landscape.
You feel like everything you have planted has now been uprooted, dumped and left thrown all over the place.
There’s devastation every where.
You don’t know what to do, so you throw yourself into your work just like the hurricane that ripped through your landscape.
You rush through your project, your to-do list.
All in the name of trying to cover your emotions and that sneaky disaster named ‘anxiety.’
Perhaps, you throw yourself into the next relationship to prove your ex wrong. ‘See, I am lovable and he even sings to me like Michael Buble.’
Or you go collecting the next award, accomplishing, ranking at work, all to cover up the hurricane of whatever is causing your anxiety.
Here’s the thing.
You need to call on your clean-up crew.
Now don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying you’re dirty.
I’m talking about the hurricane that has ripped up your life and brought your anxiety into full force.
What are you going to do to start dealing with what the devastation has caused so you can move on in life with fresh crops to plant (vision)?
What if your anxiety was trying to communicate that it’s scared? That it needs you to listen to her. To lean in. To look at where the hurricane has come from so you can move into new lands destined for you?
As a mind detox practitioner, I have learnt the power of our brain and how it makes meaning.
When you judge something as good or bad, right or wrong, and better or worse you allow or resist some of these things. Resisting then causes stress in your body and your mind then starts to justify these negative emotions.
When you find out what your brain is resisting then you can start the process to letting it go and attaching a more beneficial meaning, and in turn allowing your anxiety to flee.
Do you want to clean up after the hurricane and plant new crops? You know, be able to stop your hands shaking when confronting someone, make decisions with ease and grace, and perhaps stop rebounding in your relationships to make your ex pay! Perhaps you want to learn how to say ‘no’ to another commitment or go slow like a sloth when you work, rather than fast like a wild dog (frothing at the mouth to succeed). I can help you alleviate you anxiety so you can say ‘yes’ more to life. Email me: thebutterflyhouse@gmail.com and found out how over 6 months you too can move forward in life despite the devastation around you.
Oh, and one last thing before I go.
Thank God for His grace, thank God that it is indeed well within my soul and thank God for beauty in the hurricane. There’s beauty in yours too. Can you see it?
Lean in.
You’ve got this.
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