They say that in business (as in life), you go through seasons. The first year of business you head in all bright eyed, fresh ideas overflowing and nothing can stop you. You ooze enthusiasm like that Nutella filled donut. Business looks so appealing on the outside and tastes so good once you bite into it.
But what happens when you’ve had too many Nutella filled donuts? You’ve taken on so many that you feel sick to your stomach. You can no longer fit that dress and now you’re super frustrated.
Yeah, that’s me.
The second year of business.
In 2015, I came in with fresh eyes and a stack of enthusiasm. I threw myself into reading all the business and self-help books. I went all strategy. I created new opt in’s, got super clear in this space and frankly, I’m pretty sure I got addicted to technology and checking my stats.
Did anyone like my posts? Has anyone emailed me? Does my Instagram account have any new followers?
I sought validation of my self-worth in all the wrong places.
I stopped having fun in my biz.
Now, we’re at the beginning of 2016 and I know I can’t go back there to the push and shove of business strategy, working on the computer endlessly and reading book after book and completing course after course on being an awesome business entrepreneur and being.
It’s gross and I need to purge my Nutella filled donuts for now.
What I need right now (and perhaps you do too) is something nourishing but oh so soul fulfilling too.
It’s reminding myself constantly of my Core Desired Feelings of : Fun, Calm, Present and Relaxed.
And gorgeous did I do that this week.
What spurred it on?
I saw myself starting to go all strategy again but this time covered it up with ‘but I’m just getting my creative juices flowing again and I don’t want to forget the ideas.’
I noticed my periods hadn’t arrived yet and it was 57 days late.
I knew I wasn’t pregnant.
I was reminded of why I chose not to go on the pill this time as I wanted to nourish my reproductive system back to health after years of not recognising it as more than a system that helps ‘make babies.’
I remembered what my mentor Elle Griffin from Over the Moon magazine spoke about as her years as a fertility expert. That amenorrhea (the absence of a period), while not only a hormonal imbalance can also be because of control, perfectionism, self pressure and harsh inner critic.
Elle says that:
Control, perfectionism, self-pressure, harsh inner-critic. These are words I hear every day from my healthy, beautiful clients. Her vocabulary is loaded with “I should’s” and not nearly enough “I’m allowed to’s.” She blames her body for not responding to all her efforts and forgets to thank it for keeping her alive. Lacking a compassionate language of self-love, many women try to “earn” their worth through exercise and eating healthy. Receiving constant criticism (either from herself or others), her endocrine system shuts down in an effort to protect her precious nervous system.
By taking a step back, most of these women might realize they are trying too hard. That by giving themselves permission to break their own rules they can stop putting so much pressure on themselves and heal their hormonal imbalances. That they don’t “have” to do all the things they are packing into their already busy schedules. That she is already enough as she is. She’s already worth it.
I realised I had not given my body permission to let go. Why would it when I’m telling it basically by my actions that it’s not time or safe to menstruate.
So I thought I’d throw myself a little experiment. I chose not to do any work until my periods came. I read books, I watch trashy tv, I played with my 9 month old Flynn and we had fits of giggles, and I got out in nature every single day.
What happened?
Within 3 days my periods came. (Not to mention I had enquiries for my coaching services. Hello? Why have I not learnt the art of surrender yet?)
Surprise, surprise.
Our bodies are so amazing, we just need to listen to it. We’ve lost touch of our intuition.
So what am I going to do to ensure I have a better balance between work, family and life?
I’m going to create a timetable and actually factor in where I’m going to do business stuff, family stuff, appointments and self-care time.
As I was thinking this Debbie Spellman popped into my inbox with a ‘Become a master of your time’ blog post. She says in the post that :
Time is the one thing you can’t get more of and therefore you (as the master of your own life) need to be fierce with how you spend this time.
She goes on to say:
Schedule your time around YOUR priorities and fit in everybody else’s agenda around these. Not only will you achieve all you desire this year but you will not be pushed and pulled in directions which do not serve your highest good.
So my experiment worked and I can’t wait to see what happens this week as I implement my calendar. I can only imagine how much more productive I’ll be. Time really is precious as are the times I get to spend with my family and my loved ones.
Implementing my calendar will also mean I can have more fun because I won’t be going all business strategy and I’ll have pockets of time where I’ve given myself permission to relax by reading a book or by having tickle fights with my cute kid.
How about you? Do you feel like you need to run an experiment this week? Do you want to feel present, more relaxed and have a tonne of fun? What do you need to do to get there?
Have a go.
// It can be as simple as not looking at your phone first up in the morning.
// Allowing yourself time for the things you love, like sitting on your back deck drinking a coffee.
// It could be saying ‘no’ to that over time at your job.
// Making yourself a bubble bath and pouring yourself a glass of bubbles and just being still.
// Climbing that mountain you’ve been dying to climb.
Whatever it is you want to do start with one thing to experiment with and just go for it.
You’ll never know what might come of it.
With Love,
If you’d love help with where to start with your experiment I have 2 ways you can work with me.
- You can ask to join a moon circle HERE. A moon circle group is an intimate group of 8-10 women all working towards their individual goals but with the support of one another. I am a moon circle group coach! This is a great way to get coaching with me at a reduced cost. If you would like to coach with me specifically you’ll need to enter my name into the “Who is your dream moon circle leader?” It includes 9 coaching sessions over the 3 months + unlimited access to the Facebook group community. It’s $450 in total! Great value. Click HERE if interested and don’t forget to put my name down in the section of ‘your dream coach you want to work with.’
- I have 1:1 coaching packages available. At the moment I have some enquiries pending so there may not be any opportunities to coach with me until April. Email me: thebutterflyhouse@dianabraybrooke.com to register your interest. If you are fully keen though joining the moon circle group would be the way to guarantee you could work with me over the next 3 months.
Comment below what you might experiment with this week. If you loved the post please share using the buttons below.