When self help fluff doesn’t work

girl in fieldLove and light, meditation and green juice. I’ve read it all and done it all.

And there’s a good chance you have too.

As I start heading closer to my mid 30’s I find I’m getting more miffed at all of the self-help fluff that comes into my inbox.

Like love makes everything better.

Have you tried that when in the pits of darkness? Have you tried to pray love and light over a situation or a person and still felt like clawing your eyes out (or perhaps theirs?) Why is it we’ve become so caught up in the love over fear movement that we actually don’t feel the fears?

We’ve heard it before ‘what would you do if you knew you couldn’t fail?

Heck, I’ve even written about it.

But I think the deeper question to ask is ‘what would I do EVEN if I failed?

What of love and light then? When failure feels humiliating?

// It is ok lovely one not to feel lovey dovey when the pain is raw.

// It is ok to cry and eat that tub of icecream.

// It is ok to say “F*ck off” to meditation and play sad melodies like ‘all by myself’ loud on your iPod. (And you’re not any less spiritual because you use a swear because you’re frustrated).

// It is ok to yell at God and ask questions.

// It is ok not to use affirmations. Cause if you are not feeling love, light and bliss then why lie to yourself?

// It is ok not to be sugar free. Eat the damn donut.

// It is ok to drink the champagne and not the green juice.

// It is ok to bawl your eyes out in church. You don’t have to put on your ‘happy, yes Jesus loves me face.

// It is ok to feel the injustices of this world. To feel annoyed at that bully at work, to not like those changes and to express yourself however you want.

// It is ok not to go to the gym.

Give yourself permission to break the rules and set yourself free.

Jesus came to bring life and not death.

Giving a loving response is all good in theory but sometimes the most loving response can take the form of tough love. Boundaries.

A firm ‘no.’

A big finger to the happy clappy club.

Franciscan Monk Richard Rohr says that:

Imperfect people are sometimes more equipped than perfect people to help those who are struggling. The person who feels that he has ruined his life often has more capacity for humility and compassion.

Feel it darling. You don’t always have to feel happy. You don’t have to have it together to be making a difference and you are spiritual enough because your feelings are spiritual. Made in God’ image.

How awesome is that?


The following two tabs change content below.

Diana is a spirituality life coach who works with anxious women who want to say ‘yes’ more. She knows what it feels like to be in a place of darkness – to not know yourself and where your inner light went – and how to move forward once you come out the other side. With ten years experience as a high school teacher, Diana asks the right questions to guide you into a deep acceptance of who you are helping you see your true beauty. You can learn more about Diana and get instant access to the Freebie Vault (free e-books, guides, prayers + toolkits), when you sign up on the V.I.P list. You can also send an email to Diana at: thebutterflyhouse@dianabraybrooke.com.

Latest posts by Diana (see all)

  • I love love love this post, its a reminder that in our imperfection and not so good days, we can still sit with that, not judge ourselves and be loving anyway. Thank you for sharing this :)

    • Thanks Kajal for always coming over with an encouraging comment. I just think that we need to embrace it all to be able to move forward. Not to mask but to sit with it like you said. Harder said than done though but always a work in progress.