Hey, hey there gorgeous.
It’s been a while since I’ve written anything fresh here on the blog.
Consistently for 3 years I wrote every single week, not skipping a heart beat and then suddenly I crashed and burnt a little trying to do all the things: teach, be a mama, my own personal journey, church commitments and so on and so I gave myself permission to work on different areas of the biz.
5 years on now in the biz and I’m still here. Pottering away.
I’m nearly 39 weeks pregnant with Baby Braybrooke the II. The baby clothes have all been washed, the nursery some what set up and I’ve dusted and wiped every part of the house (ha ha ha and I thought nesting was bull crap).
And I’m craving the need to write.
Perhaps it’s cause I had an awesome night’s sleep thanks to having a magnessium float.
Perhaps it’s because it’s something I know I’ve been gifted.
And now without any motive, without having to do so to gain clients, or be consistent I feel the need to write.
And today I wanted to say:
YOU ARE SO LOVED AND SEEN.
Back in April, I had a bizarre situation where I got road rage yelled at.
I had spent the day running errands with Flynn in tow, and then was off to go and collect some hot cross buns from a friend’s house. On the way there in the late afternoon, Flynn was drifting off to sleep and I was trying to keep him awake as I was driving.
At an intersection this lady in the car next to me was beeping me and asking me to wind down my window.
I was so confused.
I thought, maybe there was something wrong with the car so I wound down the window.
She starts yelling at me in front of my son that I’ve sped through a school zone at 2 pm.
I was still confused.
I apologised to her (even though I had no reason to explain anything to her) and she continued to blast me and tell me what a bad person I was. (Did I tell you Flynn was in the car listening to her by the way?)
Her blasting away at me eventually got me frustrated and I yelled a profanity at her at wound up the window.
I was shaking.
I felt shut down again.
Did she realise that I was a sleep deprived mama running on empty?
Did she realise how hurtful it was to yell out awful things about myself in front of my 4 year old?
It took me back to childhood where I felt unseen when trying to explain something.
Back then I would shut down too.
Turn up the radio or just nod my head in agreeance to make it go away.
But here’s the thing I know having coached over 100 women in the Mind Detox method. A method where you get right to the root causes of your beliefs and actions. That lady would have been acting out of a belief she wired in between the ages of 0-6, the same way I was acting out of my belief ‘why can’t you see me?’
In reflection I could have said the following to her:
“I noticed you are upset that I sped through a school zone and you felt the need to stop me at the lights and yell at me. I won’t let you continue to yell at me.”
The use of my language would have indicated acknowledgment of her feelings but that it wasn’t ok to randomly lash out at me.
By yelling back a profanity, I just added to her belief. ‘See, I told you x, y, z always happens.’ In other words ‘I told you, things were getting out of control’ or ‘people do things to make me feel unsafe’ or ‘why can’t people have respect for rules.’
Usually people who are yelling like that are feeling unsafe, out of control or feeling threatened. By yelling back at her, I fuelled her anger even more and I gave my power away.
DO NOT GIVE YOUR POWER AWAY BY USING TOO MANY WORDS.
You don’t need to over explain.
I may have felt unseen in the moment BUT that isn’t the reality of my life.
People do see me.
I was just allowing the old belief to surface.
NO ONE CAN MAKE YOU FEEL ANYTHING. The reason you and I feel hurt is because of an already existing belief we have about ourselves.
To get out of taking the belief personally you could ask yourself:
What am I feeling? Why am I feeling this way? Why is this a problem?
Keep asking yourself the last question until you get to the root of the belief.
It’ll be a personal belief like “I don’t feel loved, seen, accepted.’
Then ask yourself: How can I come from love in this moment?
You are so seen.
Even if you don’t feel it.
The God of this universe created you with purpose. He sees you.
And I’m here today because I felt prompted to remind you of that.
Your internal belief that you are not seen is NOT YOUR REALITY. (And if you do find yourself questioning ask yourself ‘Is it true all of the time?’ You’ll find it is not).
It’s a filter shaped by things you have experienced from a young age.
It starts by identifying the story and by taking responsibility for it.
You’ve got this.
If you’d love help getting to the root cause of your beliefs and want to find a new way to think about them so you aren’t taking things personally get on the V.I.P list below to find out when my anxiety courses are launching. I’m currently on maternity leave and not taking on 1:1 coaching clients for the next few months. Please SHARE using the buttons below if you loved this post 🙂