I stayed up late last night.
Yep, mum life right?
You stay up because you want to get all the things done, or simply just to have some down time.
Then pay for it in the morning.
This morning I was tired. I fell back to sleep after Dave got up with Flynn to be suddenly woken up by them.
Startled, I started my day.
Tired, like a sleepy bear in hibernation, I slump on the couch.
I scroll Facebook and random useless crap.
I get annoyed at myself.
I know that I’m doing it, scrolling, to cover up the fact that I am soooo tired.
Not just that but I’m tired and wishing I could still do the things the way I used to. You know. Study, run my biz, go to the gym, head to a cute café without having to pack a gazillion things into a bag and getting out of the café without chocolate hand prints on my boobs from where the little boy has wiped them (P.S Did you see my Facebook post this week about how a fridge magnet totally dropped out of my bra when I went to get changed…long story…)
So, I knew I was going to catch up with friends that morning but I also knew I wanted to purchase some limited edition items at 9:30am.
The time when I was supposed to meet them.
I had dawdled anyways, so there was no way I was going to be on time, so I got online and refreshed the screen over and over in the hope I could secure myself these items.
SOLD OUT!
Man, I was so annoyed!
I got ready to go out and rushed my poor little toddler.
I was mad at myself.
I’m not even much of a shopper yet here I was waiting to grab myself a bargain and was doing so at the expense of hanging out in the reals with my friends.
As I drove to the catch up I realized, that my life was for living and not for shoving meaningless crap into.
I didn’t need the item after all.
I vow to let myself not get caught up in it again. The world already has enough of people not connecting in real life.
Neighbours who don’t talk to each other, people who walk pass each other in the street without even a friendly hello, and we’ve lost our village mentality.
This is for you today if you’ve been caught in covering up your anxiety.
You’re scrolling the net and reading mindless crap.
You’re getting the next accolade, award, prize to fill up your ‘I am enough’ mentality.
You’re overeating or eating ‘clean’ to cover up your emotions. Heck, totally guilty! I’ve been there darling.
Perhaps, your child wears the latest fashion because you want to impress your friends and keep your anxiety at bay.
Or you talk about the news in convos when really you want to talk more about Sophie Monk’s decision in The Bachelorette (totally not me, but hey not judging).
You dull your spark.
You plaster on the smile.
You keep waking up wondering when you’ll feel that ache in your chest go away.
Dear one,
When you play the judgement game, which is your brain deciding what is good or bad, right or wrong, positive or negative, good or evil than your mind becomes busy.
And your anxiety goes into overdrive.
I challenge you today to show compassion for yourself.
And it starts with saying to yourself:
I’m so sorry that you….
I’m so sorry that you felt angry at that person who unfairly made assumptions about you at work.
I’m so sorry that you feel the need to dress your child in Polo Ralphs to impress your friends.
I’m so sorry that you are feeling sad and confused.
I’m so sorry that you were triggered by that harsh customer.
Have a compassionate dialogue with yourself. Let the tears flow. And know that you are enough.
You are enough even if you experience anxiety.
For you are NOT your anxiety.
You are loved by the God of this universe.
Precious, whole.
Will you make the choice today to have compassion for yourself in the midst of your anxiety?
I can help. I have 3 coaching spots currently available to help you learn strategies to help you learn where you wired in your anxiety and how you can wire it back out again.
I’ve been there.
Just today.
And I made it through.
You can do.
Lean in.
You’ve got this.
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