coffee thinking woman journallingIt’s June. Mid-year madness around here.

I’ve just finished writing high school reports as part of the requirements of my teaching job and getting over the latest cold.

It’s been a season of surrender and I’m not good at it. I want to do ALL.THE.THINGS but God says, “Not right now.”

So I ignore Him.

I revert back to my default self, like a toddler chucking a temper tantrum. I don’t want to deal with the emotions right now, so I scroll mindlessly, while cosied up under a doona, while hacking up my lungs and dipping bikkies in my tea.

It’s much easier to dwell in the old self. The self that used distraction to avoid pain.

The pain of her missing husband (now ex), was so raw (is so raw at times).

I get frustrated. I cry out to God, I can’t keep living life this way. I just can’t keep wasting my day, my energy, and my talents in just being idle.

The toddler child won’t sleep lately, so I cry in frustration. I make myself a cup of tea, sit on the verandah and have a dialogue with myself.

I have compassion for myself.

I’m sorry you keep getting sick’ I say to myself. ‘I’m sorry Flynn won’t sleep. I’m sorry you are so tired and haven’t gotten much energy to do, well…much. I’m sorry that you are missing out on the things you love doing while you are sick. I’m sorry it has taken you so long to finish your Mind Detox training.

The tears roll down my face as I give myself permission to apologise to her, the inner child who just wants to be soothed, acknowledged, loved.

Here’s my permission slip. Perhaps you’ll see yourself in the answers too:

//I give you permission to take the day nap. Don’t worry too much you can’t sleep at night. You’ll have much more resilience if you sleep and let work be for 1 day.

//I give yourself permission to not exercise. Darling, it’s ok. Your body is healing. It’s trying to get your attention.

// I give you permission to get frustrated when you scroll through social media mindlessly. It means you know deep down inside you were made for something more.

// I give myself permission to quit stressing about whether I put my blog post out every week on the same day. My true sisters love me, for me, and I call in the right sisterhood to gather around me.

// I give myself permission to easily + joyfully finish what I start. It doesn’t have to be hard

// I give myself permission to release powerlessness and I embrace my power.

// I give myself permission to validate my own work.

// I do what I need to do with courage and independence.

// I give myself permission to focus on the positives in life.

// I give myself permission to rest, restore and heal.

Where do you need to give permission in your life?

Declare it now in the comments below, I’d love to hear from you.

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Until next time,