Comparisonitis sucks hey! One minute you’ve popped into Facebook to check that dinner date with your friends and then the next you’re stuck in the vortex of looking at what that famous person has bought, or that friend whose body bounced back straight after having a baby or frothing over your friend’s business which is SUPER successful and she started about 6 months after you.
It’s so frustrating. (Like that one time you left your fav lippie in the car during summer and it melted! *CRY*)
I soooo get it.
I’ve been stuck there for a bit now. In fact, I’ve caught myself day in, day out scrolling mindlessly looking at what others are doing and then researching stuff to help and then falling into a heap at the end wondering if it is all worth it after all.
You see, if you’ve been around the digs here for a bit, I’ve been on and off sick for months now. It’s worn me down and with it my resilience has been lowered so on Friday when I went to the Beautiful You Coaching Academy Inspiration Day, I initially was feeling not so inspired.
As I walked down the street from the train station (wearing my new Princess Highway outfit which I adore. See Instagram pics here for details), I remember oh so clearly saying:
“What’s the point? I’m so burnt out. I’m so tired.”
During question time after one of the speakers had spoken, a lady in the audience asked ‘what are some of the steps you do to deal with comparisonitis?’ After giving a few tips then Julie Parker spoke up and said ‘this is a theory but I believe that comparisonitis is a form of PROFOUND PROCRASTINATION.’
I had a hunch that’s exactly what I had been doing.
I mean I was scrolling mindlessly instead of staying focussed on what my calling is all about.
Instead of trying to ‘crack the Instagram code’ or ‘find my tribe’ I needed to really sink in and face the resistance.
And remind myself of why I do what I do.
Because I firmly believe that women with anxiety can find a new way of thinking. A way that sees them alleviate their anxiety and helps them to feel calm and grounded in their own time and not on anyone else’s timeline. I believe that women who have anxiety are warriors! They have this strength inside of them that they have access to, if only they believed it and took hold of it. I believe that I’m here to make a difference. That I am here to help guide women, women just like you, to living a life that is not gripped by anxious thoughts and behaviours but rather a life of purpose and value. Once you know that purpose and value, it gives you clarity with your decisions, fun becomes an action and not just a distant dream and sleep is deep! (Because we know how much our sleep gets effected right?)
Steven Pressfield tells us that “the more important a call or action is to our soul’s evolution, the more resistance we will feel toward pursuing it.”
And I absolutely agree.
Do you feel the resistance dear one? Do you struggle to move forward with that big hearted dream of yours? That dream to go back to uni, start that business, quit that job or even change your hair style.
Cassie Mendoza-Jones in her book ‘You are Enough’ says that you can ask yourself 4 questions to help you gain clarity when it comes to your comparisonitis:
//Do I even want to be comparing myself?
//Am I comparing myself for any apparent benefit?
//Is the thing I’m comparing myself to something that I really want?
//Is this just a bad habit, a habit that I’ve formed to protect me from doing the work to attain the things I truly want?
Have a sit down and write down your answers. See what comes up for you.
After hearing that ‘Comparisonitis is a profound form of procrastination’ I’ve completely turned around. I got the much needed encouragement I needed that the work I am doing is indeed enough. That it is important and that it is ok to go slow.
Even just giving yourself the permission to go slow can make all the difference.
//You DO NOT need to be at the same point in your business as your friend who started after you. You are in the right place for you RIGHT NOW.
//You MAY NOT have the capacity to have acupuncture every single week because you have family commitments (but you can book one once a month and ask someone to babysit your children).
// You MAY NOT be able to afford gym membership and this has you feeling like you can’t get fit like your other friend who lost the 15kgs, BUT you have a pretty cool lake nearby that you could walk around that will help you feel grounded. Best part? It’s FREE.
You are unique.
You do not need to be like your friends even though you may desire aspects of what they have or do.
But what I do want you to know is that your comparisonitis may be a form of procrastination and this could be stopping you from a very important work that you have to do.
Are you ready to make the change and go slow?
Lean in dear one.
You’ve got this.
Do you think comparisonitis is a form of procrastination? Comment below. And if you loved the post please share it using the buttons below. Thanks heaps. Muah! xx
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