Apparently I’m degrading and negative.
Ummm, ok Facebook executives up in your fancy offices.
As I sat with my Facebook ad, something I had been procrastinating for months on, I finally designed a beautiful advert with some text inviting beauties like you to learn more about your anxiety and how to alleviate it.
Cause, you know alleviating anxiety feels as good as my artisan coffee from some cool as hipster café while playing Jenga with my 2 year old. It tastes smooth, strong and there’s an element of fun on the side.
So Facebook claims that I was being degrading by using the phrase ‘What are your anxiety triggers?’ Apparently it makes yo all feel like I’m serving you the Nescrappe’ coffee from a jar rather than the smooth as Organic Roasted coffee made in Byron under the sweat of a thousand hipsters.
So I challenged them on it.
I mentioned that helping women with anxiety to know their anxiety triggers is empowering, not something negative.
But the Facebook stiff suits didn’t think so. They continued to tell me that I need to be positive in my approach. Oh and you need to advertise a product not help for people.
Ummm I’m a coach dude… My business is people… And helping women to kick ass at their anxiety challenges so that they can have more energy in their day and quit over thinking every little thought that pops up in their mind.
Anxiety triggers are not bad.
Because anxiety is a normal process that happens in your body to warn you that there is danger. Problems only occur when anxiety signals danger when there is in fact no danger to be seen.
With those of you whose anxiety is flipping out like you’ve had one too many artisan coffees (heart racing and hands shaking), it’s about recognising those anxiety triggers so you can manage them.
Here are some ways you can do that:
Create a worry diary.
Set some times to write into your worry diary (2-3 times is a great start). Look at what is worrying you, your anxiety triggers and rate your anxiety level on a scale of 1-10, 10 being that it is heightened like when you’ve taken that extra coffee you know you shouldn’t have.
I have created an example of one HERE. This resource will be available for FREE for 60 days and then will go to the Freebie Vault for V.I.P’s only. Password is: AnxietyTrigger
Distinguish whether it’s a long black or a short black kinda situation
In other words is this a current problem (get it short black – something that needs to be taken care of quickly) or a hypothetical situation (a long black – something that takes longer to drink because you’ve got time to process it).
Once you know what your worry is, classify it into your worry diary.
When I go to a new hipster café, sometimes there’s uncertainty. Will the coffee be as strong as the Bare Bones’ Society one (yeah it’s totes a café I go to)? And if the coffee is bad, then it’s about either asking for a fresh one or tolerating the one you have in front of you.
Start by making a list of the things you do that helps you to feel certain.
- Do you procrastinate?
- Do you seek constant validation?
- Do you avoid certain situations?
- Do you double check your information?
- Do you read a lot of information before making a decision?
Practice tolerating Uncertainty
Make a list of behaviours where you avoid uncertainty. Perhaps you may even try to reduce your uncertainty by asking lots of questions. But what if you could start making small steps to practice uncertainty like:
- Letting your friends choose the next restaurant you go to. As part of your practice you might even choose an entirely new meal. (Oooh I know this has you nervous, because I am so a creature of habit. I mean, what if I order something different and it tastes gross).
- Not asking for a second opinion on something that you need to make a decision on.
- Going to an event without double checking your hand bag.
- Shopping without a grocery list.
Acknowledge your tolerance of uncertainty.
Start writing down what happened when you had a go at tolerating uncertainty.
- What did you do and how did it feel?
- What happened and did everything turn out ok?
- What did you do when the unexpected happened?
And see how well you actually did.
Things will sometimes go wrong when you accept tolerating the uncertainty. It’s just bound to happen but the more you practice it, the resilience to deal with the situation will come. Recognise that you have not failed and you can see that you can actually deal with things as best as you can, if only you just give yourself the opportunity to have a go.
It doesn’t feel good. I get it.
But the one thing I know for sure is…
The more I practice tolerating uncertainty, the more I become skilled at dealing with the situation.
And you will too.
But if you feel like you need some help with processing the uncertainty so that your anxiety can be alleviated, get on a call with me: firstname.lastname@example.org . Let’s see how you can increase your resilience, get more energy and practice more tolerance of uncertainty. You are so worth it. Let’s make a cuppa date!
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