Ok, so I have a confession to make.
I’m addicted to work.
Yep. I said it.
And yeah, I harp on about making space in our diaries so that we can fill up our self love cup.
The thing is I’m actually pretty good at doing both. I do find time each day to do something nourishing for myself but I also find myself constantly researching stuff for the blog, reading newsletters, scrolling through social media and checking my emails.
It’s a constant, annoying and frustrating part of my life and I am trying to make steps to get out of that habit.
Are you like me and addicted to work?
Does your anxiety manifest itself in seeking and striving to avoid your real feelings?
Do you throw yourself into work because those feelings are too raw?
Whatever it is you actually want to feel you will start seeking it out in the external world. Doing so is within your control. It feels safe to go and seek those feelings through work.
What the heck do you mean Di?
Well the other day after I was feeling quite burnt out I told my husband I was going to hop into the bath for some down time. 15 minutes later my husband caught me commenting on people’s Instagram posts and rightfully so told me to get into the bath and relax!
I asked him ‘Do you think I could take the iPad in there with a set of headphones and play a meditation in the bathtub?’
‘It’s not wise to Di.’ He replied.
Huffing and puffing I got into the bath, not comfortable with sitting in there in my own in silence.
So I decided to sit with my emotions.
“What the freaking hell is going on Di? Why are you not able to switch off?”
The answer came back loud and clear.
“You want to be seen and heard. You think that to be accomplished you need to work hard and to put in the hours. That people won’t coach with you if you miss a blog post this week and that you’ll lose likers on Facebook and Instagram if you don’t post regularly.”
There it was.
It wasn’t a new revelation I must confess. It was more of another gentle nudge for me.
And on top of that I had been feeling quite jealous of other people’s success (while of course loving them to pieces!)
One thing that really helped me this week (and yes I found this on one of my scrolling adventures), was I came across Denise Duffield Thomas’(a.k.a “The Lucky Bitch”) blog post on “The Truth about Jealousy in Business.”
Here are some snippets that spoke to me:
“When jealousy rears its ugly head, it’s a perfect sign that someone has something you want for yourself.”
(This has seen me working my butt off to try and get that same thing, leading me to feel burnt out. You know cause I’m fuelling my whole I need to work hard to be seen as accomplished bull crap).
“Every time that jealousy came up, I put my hand on my heart and affirmed: Good things are happening to me.”
Another affirmation she uses in the post is:
“It’s my time and I’m ready for the next step.”
By doing this she affirms that ‘transforms that jealousy into the rock-solid belief that something amazing is just around the corner for you too.’
So where am I going with all of this? I’m jealous because I want to be seen and heard like my fellow coaching buddies. Working constantly is my way to be seen and heard. I also want to be accomplished. I can even tell you when this mentality first popped into my primary school mind and how it was fuelled even further when my ex disappeared (read my about me page for details). When I started to put my hand on my heart and go through the two affirmations above I started to believe it.
It is my time. I’m ready.
So dear heart, I ask you this question:
What emotions are you trying to hide by being busy all the time?
Perhaps you have another way of covering up your emotions. You overeat, you watch tv over and over, or perhaps you can’t be left alone which sees you filling up your social calendar.
Numbing the pain, avoiding the emotions.
You’re not going to like my response.
You have to sit with it. In all its uncomfortable glory.
Ask yourself ‘What am I resisting?’ ‘What is the feeling?’ ‘Why is it here?’ ‘What is triggering this feeling and what message is it trying to tell me?’
And once you have sat with these questions ask yourself (or journal) this final question:
“What’s the one activity you know you need to do every day that would strengthen your relationship with yourself?”
Start doing that activity beauty.
Little steps each day to break the stronghold that addiction to busyness has on your life.
You’ve got this.
And if you need further accountability why don’t you get on a call with me to find out how you can address these emotions so you can feel more peaceful in your day. Can you imagine how much more rested you would feel? How about productive when you need to because you aren’t wasting time scrolling to numb the void? What about it? I’d love to help. Email me: firstname.lastname@example.org. My work with me packages and prices can be found HERE.
So “What’s the one activity you know you need to do every day that would strengthen your relationship with yourself?” Comment below. I would love to hear from you. Please share using the buttons below. If you would love more free resources to help you why don’t you get onto my email list by submitting your details into any of the subscriber boxes either below this post or just under the header. I would love to forward these resources onto you.