Hey there my spirited soul sisters!
It’s weird, every time I have writer’s block a lesson comes my way and bingo it’s also what you girls seem to be needing at the time.
Today started off really well. I had attended an Australian Breastfeeding Association discussion talk on ‘The Early Daze.’ Flynn slept the whole time and when we got home it’s like he flipped a switch. He went from cheery baby this morning to ‘I need you now. Don’t you dare put me down and while I am at it I am going to spit up all of my milk all over you too’ mode.
So with spat up milk trickling down my shirt I placed him on the couch, right in the middle, because he can’t roll anyways and I was going to be quick to grab his bib. The bib was just over there (imagine me pointing a few steps away).
While I was collecting the bib I looked over and there was Flynn doing a roll towards the timber floor and my mumma instinct kicked in and I slid on my knees over to him, catching him in the my arms right before he would have hit the floor. (And yes it hurt my knees, especially the one I had reconstructed last year. Really bad!)
Well he was crying, I was crying. I told him ‘sorry I was frustrated’ and then fed him some comfort milk. (C’mon who doesn’t like a good emotional feed every now and again).
And there was the lesson.
I was so tired and frustrated. I needed to get my blog post done. I was craving just to be able to wear a nice set of clothes without being spat up upon. In that moment I felt like God was saying ‘Be present.’
You see some of you are going through the metaphorical ‘spit up.’ You feel like there is just mess all over you, the baby (or work/friends/relationships/insert your need here) is screaming at you, you’re craving some time to yourself. You want to connect with your spirituality but it’s just so messy at the moment.
But here’s the thing…
Be present…
Acknowledge what is screaming at you.
Does your work light you up anymore or do you crave to spread your wings into a whole new venture?
Are your friends asking you to come and hang out but you feel like you have to put on a mask because if you don’t they may not like you?
Are you trying to connect with God but there’s just mess everywhere. You’ve tried yoga, praying, journaling and singing worship songs but your soul is dry?
So what can you do?
I’ve been doing Connie Chapman’s ‘Inner Abundance’ course about how to understand your seeking traps.
It’s an incredible journey into discovering how to release the endless external search and instead draw your attention deeper inwards to access your inner abundance.
One of the questions in the pre work book has got me thinking and I know it’s something you are thinking:
What things in your external world impact you and how you feel within yourself the most? Eg: Your bank balance, people’s opinions, your body, your career achievements, your romantic partner etc. Explore what emotions, thoughts and reactions are often triggered in each area.
Over the next week bring awareness to what is happening within you. Be present. There may be times when you look at your external world and you feel overwhelmed. There may be resistance about tackling it in a new way. Often we stay stuck in situations because it’s too comfortable but thinking about the alternatives can be daunting. Sure, your ultimate day sounds bliss, but the work to get there is hard and often unknown. Perhaps it means you need to take a pay reduction. Perhaps it’s a change of job or study choice.
Whatever it is this week feel into your feelings and the situations. Be present. And find out what emotion underlies those situations. What’s coming up for you? Are you seeking to feel valued, a sense of security or just purely want to be seen? How can you then feel that for yourself without seeking the external world? Journal your thoughts, perhaps meditate on them and let me know how you go.
As I go into this week I am going to make the conscious choice to be present. To stop worrying about my blog and how far behind I feel I’m getting with it all. I choose to sit on the playmat with Flynn, to sing daggy songs to him, to be spat up upon and to take deep breaths when those bad days happen and know that this is just a season. I may not feel seen when I’m doing the kind of work I’m doing but God sees it and Flynn feels it I’m sure.
And that’s what matters at this stage.
Please know I love what I do at “The Butterfly House” and you are very much a treasured part of what I do but know I’ll be taking a break over the next 2 weeks to refresh. I feel a little burnt out at the moment and as I asked myself ‘what do I need to do?’ I heard ‘rest and be present.’ So I’ll be taking the next 2 weeks off blogging. It’s much needed because as you know I did not even break when Flynn came as I had some posts to schedule but he came two weeks early. I scheduled them in those early weeks of having a newborn, which you’ll appreciate is hard work.
So for now, what seeking traps are you falling into? What can you do to acknowledge and work towards breaking free from them?
Let me know in the comments below and please share using the buttons below if you liked the post. I’d love to hear from you. And if you need help on how to be present and you want to get unstuck email me: thebutterflyhouse@dianabraybrooke.com. I am taking on only a limited number of coaching clients at the moment so if you feel stuck and you want to connect please let me know.
