How to Ditch the Fear of Failure

chemistry study girl

To Naturopathy or Not To Naturopathy?

I’ve been feeling a little like the girl in the picture.  You see over the past few weeks I’ve been studying for my Anatomy and Chemistry exams.  And if you don’t know much about me yet, I currently work as an English and History teacher. Let’s just say Science is not my forte.

At the beginning of the year I took the leap to apply for my Advanced Diploma in Naturopathy and Nutrition.  After struggling with infertility for so long I wanted to study it for myself and to help others.  My interest in health and nutrition was also rising. It made sense to study it.  I dreamed of days filled of running my own Naturopathy business and then I realised I wanted to also add in the Life Coaching element.  And you know what Life Coaching is what actually makes my heart sing.

So fast forward to Friday when I sat my exams in my exhausted and sick stupor.  I went blank.

Yes. Exams really do suck don’t they?  I am not a fan of rote learning.

After a few tears that were then soothed by a bucket of Baskin and Robbins icecream. (Yeah don’t judge. You’ve been there!) I started to re evaluate the lesson to be learnt in all of this.

Is this really what I am supposed to be doing?

Am I actually going against everything I am good at? Communicating, writing and encouraging.

Is there a better way to learn this health and nutrition stuff?  A way that makes my heart sing. Not in a way that makes it leap into my throat.

Am I giving up because it’s hard?  Because my goodness I can tell you now I am a fighter!  I don’t like that concept of quitting.  And you don’t either!

So why do we go against the grain of what makes us… well us?

We Try To Be Someone We’re Not

We act in a state which is not authentically us. We see what others are doing and it sometimes looks oh so glamorous.  Or sometimes we actually think that this is really what we are supposed to be doing.  We don’t want to give up so we keep fighting against our natural giftings and talents all the while ignoring what God has already given us.

For me that’s the gift of intuition and communication.

You see I am good at communication.  And I say this humbly.  I can also sense what someone is going through and sometimes God gives me images or words to share with that person.  And sometimes it’s really freaky to actually share that with someone you don’t know.  But when you do and they say “How did you know?”  That’s also pretty cool!

As a self confessed over achiever and recovering perfectionist (well working on that recovering part), I often take things on board for interest sake and don’t take into consideration that it really isn’t me.  I like the challenge.  I like the drive.  And I especially like when my lecturers give me High Distinctions and a virtual high five when I have done well.

So where to from here?

Ditch that Fear of Failure Girlfriend!

It’s so easy to feel like we have failed when we have had a go at something and then have realised ‘it’s not for you Jen.’  (I.T Crowd quote for those who were wondering). It’s easy to feel like we’ve actually given up. So where to from here?

I actually haven’t figured out that part.  I’ll be journalling and praying about that over the next few weeks. I’ll be practicing being still. All I know is that I need to be authentically me.  The ‘me’ that God designed me to be.  I still love nutrition and all things natural medicine so who knows maybe I’ll pick it up later on.  At the moment I’m looking more into the health coaching side of things as this is more in alliance with my giftings and talents.  And like I said. Who wants to go against that right?

Plus I absolutely love life coaching!  I have the most amazing, beautiful clients at the moment. All of whom are thriving and blossoming!  (You know who you are!)  I have a desire to continue working on my e-book.  I crave self care, self love and self restoration.  And now is the time for that.

But how do we ditch that fear of failure that is at the forefront of our minds?

Three Ways to Ditch the Fear of Failure

Adopt a Mindset of Gratitude

You will hear this over and over again throughout my posts. But seriously.  Have gratitude.  I am grateful that I have had this opportunity to study. I am grateful for the skills I have learnt. Perhaps you could write down a list of things that you have learnt through the struggle.  Ask yourself some questions:

How has it made you a better person? How has it equipped you for this present moment?

Has it drawn you to certain people? Has it made you aware of your actual calling in life?

Release Control

Last night I had the realisation that I had so much mind chatter going on.  I read this article by Connie Chapman about 8 Ways to Quieten Your Crazy Mind Chatter.  I love these particular lines:

When we label thoughts as bad or wrong we are more likely to resist them and this strengthens the discomfort we are experiencing.

Every thought is just a thought. It is just something that flashes through our mind.

But it is us that decides that thought is bad, that labels it as negative and makes a meaning out of it.

And many of us take it one step further by also judging ourselves and feeling bad about ourselves for thinking this way

Once again practice acceptance. You are doing nothing wrong and thinking this way does not mean you have gone backwards. Don’t let these silly little thoughts get in the way of you loving and accepting yourself.

Simply let go! Surrender and see what will manifest in your life as a result!

Shift Your Perception

Start being more positive about the experience.  Rather than focus on the negative, focus on the lessons that you have learnt.  In shifting my perception I have realised that perhaps I have not been true to my authentic self and now that is up to me to be diligent in seeking it out more!

What makes your heart sing?

Where have you struggled in your perception?

Connie further talks about this in her article.  In it she mentions that one should additionally ask for guidance. She says that:

I choose to open up and become willing to receive support by asking “how can I support myself with this?” or “please give me some guidance with this” and I wait for some form of answer to arise within me.

The answer does not always come right away, but it comes after time. I will often find an inspired idea or new feeling drops in, or I get lead to a book or get called to take a walk or do something else that is nourishing.

Rather than trying to get this answer, I wait for it to come to me, as then I know it will be my guidance leading me, rather than more mind chatter.

She shifts her perceptions and asks for guidance.  Ask God what you should be doing? Ask Him to give you clarity about what direction to head in.  Then wait.

Beautiful girls. What have you done to ditch the fear of failure?  Let’s get a conversation going and if you liked what you read please share using the buttons below!

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Diana is a spirituality life coach who works with anxious women who want to say ‘yes’ more. She knows what it feels like to be in a place of darkness – to not know yourself and where your inner light went – and how to move forward once you come out the other side. With seven years experience as a high school teacher, Diana asks the right questions to guide you into a deep acceptance of who you are helping you see your true beauty. You can learn more about Diana and get instant access to the Freebie Vault (free e-books, guides, prayers + toolkits), when you sign up on the V.I.P list. You can also send an email to Diana at: thebutterflyhouse@dianabraybrooke.com.