So it’s not long until Christmas is here and then another year has rolled by. I am starting to get a little anxious about going back to my teaching work 2 days a week since I’ve been on maternity leave since February this year.
Some of this anxiety surrounds ‘will I be able to remember how to teach after all this time off’, not going back to teach my fav subject Ancient History because for the first time in 7 years, while I was on leave, no students decided to sign up (oh hello mean girl!), not to mention leaving Flynn for 2 days while also wanting the time to nurture my other creative talents in what I do here with coaching.
You see, I’ve gotten pretty comfortable lately. I work at a great school that has given me the opportunity to work part time, I’ve been going to the same gym for 7 years and same church for 9 years. There’s been change swirling in my spirit but as much as change excites me, it also makes me anxious.
Like physically anxious at times.
You see I was comfortable teaching Ancient History year after year but now I don’t have that…
I have an awesome gym I attend with great friends I connect with but more & more it gets harder to make the commitment to drive 30 mins each way plus add in workout and shower time. There’s my whole morning gone.
And church stuff… well let’s just say it significantly triggered some post traumatic stress.
But what do you do with all of that?
The way to abundance is to surrender our abilities and talents, asking that they be used by God to help heal the world. Too many people feel that they have talent but simply don’t know where to put it. We’re not raised in a society that asks, “What are your gifts, and how can they make the world a more beautiful place?” We’re usually asked something more like this: “What will you do to make a living?” This knocks us out of our natural rhythm, because the soul simply doesn’t think that way. There is no more natural proclivity than to serve love. Something very powerful happens when we pray, “Dear God, please use me.” Making ourselves available to the universe for its loving purposes, we are taken up on our offer immediately.
(Marianne Williamson).
Are you doing thing purely out of routine? Ask ‘how can I use my talents to heal the world?’ (Or how can I use what I am going through at the moment to heal the world?)
Perhaps being released from the subject will allow me to have fun with the middle school students. I’ve always enjoyed teaching middle school so here’s my chance to shine. It will also give me the energy to invest in my creative endeavours here on this blog (and coaching wise), as Ancient History requires a lot of prep time.
Gym. I really struggled with this one because the one I am currently at I have been there for 7 years and I absolutely adore the community. For me, I don’t just walk in and do my workout with my head down and earplugs in. I do life with people. I chat. I listen and often coach informally while sitting in the sauna. But what if changing gyms were to open up a whole new load of opportunity for me? I already had a chat today with the owner about the possibility of running some workshops or even hiring out a space for face to face coaching (which I flipping love doing!)
And church? Well I ended up going to a different one on Sunday to listen to a guest speaker talk about ‘controlling your emotions.’ It was about anxiety and depression and how to feel into our feelings rather than dismiss, ignore or cover them up.
I sang and raised my hands in worship for the first time in months. (I may have even cried a little in worship thinking about my awesome God). I tried something new in order to move forward.
Are you going through a season that is challenging you right now?
Do you feel confused? Anxious? Too comfortable?
Life can be like that huh? One minute you’re cruising on through with your cute little career, extracurricular leader titles and have your dream house but you never feel satisfied.
Because deep down inside you’ve been doing the norm. What you think society expects of you, not what lights your soul on fire.
You say ‘yes’ to things that suck and ‘no’ to opportunities because they scare the crap out of you.
You overanalyse the situation and you constantly worry about what people think about you.
Aren’t you tired? Tired of playing along?
It’s time to ‘wake up. Put your face in the sunlight God’s bright glory has risen for you.’ (Isaiah 60:1).
These people had been returning from exile. Imagine what it is like to be taken from your home, stripped of your identity?
Perhaps your soul has been in exile for a while, stripped back, raw, hurting.
How do you push past all the hurt, pain and even the loss of your dreams (aka you had something you wanted to do career wise or some place to visit, or wanted the white picket fence and the cute little dog to go with it?) You need to talk about it.
Brene Brown said in her book “The Gifts of Imperfection: Let go of who you think you’re supposed to be and embrace who you are” that:
Shame needs three things to grow out of control in our lives: secrecy, silence and judgement. When something shaming happens and we keep it locked up, it festers and grows. It consumes us. We need to share our experience. Shame happens between people, and it heals between people. If we can find someone who has earned the right to hear our story, we need to tell it. Shame loses power when it is spoken. In this way, we need to cultivate our story to let go of shame, and we need to develop shame resilience in order to cultivate our story.” (page 39).
Dear lovely one, whatever is coming up for you now, own your story, feel uncomfortable and make steps forward. Find someone safe you can share your story with. Talk about it, normalise it so that shame resilience can grow.
Marianne Williamson said ‘heal the world’ but I think first we need to heal ourselves so we can heal the world because it’s in our vulnerability people often can empathise with us.
Ready to get uncomfortable?
Let me know in the comments below ‘what has been uncomfortable for you of late? What’s the first step you need to do to move forward.’ Please share this post using the buttons below and if you would like further help get on a call with me: thebutterflyhouse@dianabraybrooke.com