So if you’ve been around my digs for a bit or you’ve been reading my newsletter you would have found that lately I have been unwell. Over the past two months I’ve caught 3 colds and 1 bout of food poisoning plus the current bug I’ve got now (not entirely sure what is wrong yet but tests have taken place).
I’ve been feeling exhausted, nauseous, dizzy and shaky (and noooo I’m not pregnant before you ask me).
What I do know is that it has made me start to take note. When our bodies get a little out of whack it can be a sign of the emotional. Sure, germs are out there and of course they contribute but I notice when I start ignoring my feelings in their entirety it shows up in my gut. Plus I had lost my appetite completely. I had noticed a few other signs too and then a lightbulb went off in my head.
It brought me back to the days when my ex went missing. If you’re not sure about my story head to my ‘about me’ page. I had the same symptoms. Could my anxiety be raising its ugly head again?
I tried to book into my usual counsellor but she was booked out until January. I decided to talk to a friend about it. One who is all too familiar with the effects of mental illness. I told her ‘I was pretty sure I was ok, but just wanted to check in with my counsellor.’ You know just to check and all. I don’t think she bought it because she managed to organise (with the help of her mum), a counselling session with one of the psychotherapists at her family’s practice. I felt relieved I could finally talk to someone.
I didn’t think I was going to cry because I felt like I had done so much healing in my life already.
But I did.
I’d had a few losses recently. To look at them you might be like ‘whatever Di, move on.’
But the thing was I couldn’t. I felt stuck. Trapped. Even awkward in certain social situations and amongst particular people. As someone who loves socialising, something was completely off. (For tips on how to get unstuck if you feel the same way why don’t you sign up for my newsletter and get “Unhermit Yourself.” It’s a free e-book to help you with this topic).
And I didn’t feel spiritual.
The counsellor said to me “but what if feelings are spiritual? What if this is just as important as those spiritual disciplines you were talking about?”
Finally my emotions felt like they had a place. It was ok to feel disappointed + hurt. After all, it had triggered some deep emotional hurts from the past. The situations that I thought were ‘silly’ to be upset over in fact were much more than just the face value of the situation, it ran deep threads into my childhood.
Why am I telling you all of this?
Life Coaches aren’t Perfect.
I want you to know that life coaches aren’t perfect. I am far from it. I struggle. I am, after all, human. I fail. I get back up. I worry too much about whether anyone is reading my blog, I look at the numbers I have and equate it to success and when someone unsubscribes I take it personally. But I also celebrate my wins, I give thanks at times that someone left my tribe because it means the right people are on there and they just made more space for the right type of people who get me and love what I do.
There are differences between the Coaching and Counselling practices.
I also want you to know that there is a difference between what I do as a life coach and what a counsellor does in their practice.
Life coaching focusses more on the present and the future. Counselling focusses more on the past and the present.
Coaching focusses on self exploration, knowledge, performance and professional development (just to name a few) and counselling looks at working towards the healing of emotional wounds.
Coaching looks at solving problems in the now and clients make action steps to work towards their future. Counselling can involve looking back at past history and the root of the problems. It can also include a treatment plan if needed.
This is just a snapshot of what are the differences between coaches + counsellors. Both modalities are important. I use both but for very different reasons. I currently work with a Business + Marketing coach (check out this awesome chick here) but I’m not focussing on my past with Elizabeth. I’m looking at ways to move forward in what I do in my biz and how I can best serve you as my sisterhood. I don’t get stuck in the stories of my past. We may talk about it when it link to the business but it is not a counselling sess. It’s coaching. Likewise, when I speak with my counsellor I am healing the other parts of my life where I am completely stuck and where it relates to my past and where it is showing up in my present life.
Anxiety does not make me ‘mental’ or ‘crazy’ or mean I am ‘losing it.’ I can still work effectively as a life coach.
In fact, I am sharing this with you because my experiences have shaped so much of what I do in my life coaching work. Women end up working with me because they can relate to me. They know I am the real thing because I tell it as it is, like I am doing now and I’m using what could have been awful experiences for good! I believe that beauty has come from the ashes of my life and my intuition is spot on and I’m really tuned in. Needing help does not mean you are weak, mental, crazy or losing it. If you fit into the category of being stuck in the past, please speak with a counsellor as I am not trained to help you with that.
What can I do if I feel the same way?
- Seek help. Go and see a trained professional.
- Boost your self care routines. Find one thing you love doing each day and do it. Perhaps you’ve lost your motivation to do even that so see the next step.
- Journal your feelings out. Feelings are spiritual. What is coming up for you? Where do you feel it? What is the underlying feeling attached when you peel all the layers back? What are you seeking? Who or what do you miss? What are some of the steps you need to take to move forward today. Not tomorrow. Just today, in the present moment. What will help you today to feel connected to yourself?
- Art therapy. Find some magazines, paint brushes, and some colouring in pencils. Start doing some art. Feel your emotions and put it out onto paper. My counsellor said to me sometimes art therapy goes deeper than talk therapy. Have a look back over your image? What came up for you? What symbols are in your artwork?
- Incorporate Mindfulness practices – take 10 deep nourishing breathes in and out, pray, have a gratitude process, or meditate. These practices will help you to be content and mindful in the present moment.
If you want to get unstuck and move into the future but not dwell back in the past then I’m your go to girl! I love helping women to unhermit themselves and I especially love helping women to deepen their faith. When you start to deepen your faith you get crystal clear about what you want to do with your life. Your days are no longer a drag because you feel so connected in with God that your spirit is humming, you feel less guilty about going to crossfit instead of yoga, and you start to play your guitar instead of journal because you know those things light you up. You no longer feel bound to what people say about you because you feel like you are being cheered on by the greater sisterhood and you can feel God’s warm embrace around you.
Email me: firstname.lastname@example.org if you’d love to feel connected with your faith , move forward with a spring in your step into your future, and not dread your social calendar.
So lovely you are perfectly beautiful just the way you are, even with your current state of emotions. Feelings are spiritual baby so throw out the spiritual rule book that tells you to be spiritual you have to read your Bible, prayer and sing worship songs. Know that your feelings in and of themselves is still connecting with God. Are you ready to feel them in their entirety?
I’d love to know what’s been coming up for you lately. I want to know how are you really, right now in this moment. What are your plans to really feel the feelings and what are you going to do to move forward in action? Please share using the buttons below if you loved the post.