This week I had a mini identity crisis. My husband David came home telling me one day about his work colleague’s purchases for their baby. They had gone out and bought all the latest gadgets. A Bugaboo stroller, some fancy cot and side tables and 15 cute baby outfits.
Now if you know me well, you will now that I abhor unwarranted materialism. Instead, I invest in self development, health and wellness products, good quality food and investing in others. When it comes to Baby Braybrooke even though I absolutely love this little munchkin to bits, I can’t see the point in wasting money on crap it is going to grow out of. Instead I want to be a present mum.
Now I’m not saying if you buy cutesy stuff for your baby you are inferior or selfish. In fact this whole situation brought up insecurities linked to my identity.
“Oh crap. What if I haven’t got enough stuff for Baby Braybrooke?”
“What happens when we go down to one wage? Can we afford all this natural health and wellness stuff?”
“What happens if the person who takes my teaching position is better than me?”
“We’ll never be able to afford a house. We don’t even have a nursery we can adapt cause we’re renting!”
And mean girl makes her appearance.
The Light of Perspective
Then we watched a movie last night called “The Fault in Our Stars.” And if you’ve seen it you know it’s about two teenagers who meet at a cancer support group, fall in love and the journey they take together.
And then I realised…
What if chasing all these material things that ‘mean girl’ was bringing up all came crashing down with something like being diagnosed with a terminal illness? Then what?
Would it really matter if I had the Queenslander house with the wrap around verandah that I’ve been wanting for years?
Did I really want to gather riches in this life for it all to not make a difference?
What am I on this earth for anyways? I’m here to serve. So why am I getting all caught up in chasing what others are achieving in their 30’s?
How can I make the most out of this life?
You do it too don’t you? You compare yourself to what others have and what they are doing. You look at your journey and say ‘I haven’t travelled yet, bought a house or climbed the corporate ladder.’
Sometimes you’ll even chuck a pity party for yourself and eat a big bowl of Ben and Jerry’s Phish Food. (Ok, well maybe that was just me).
We look at what society says is acceptable for a certain stage and we allow other people’s ‘stuff’ to irritate us or remind us of what we don’t have.
But at the end of the day we don’t know what kind of life they have. We don’t know if they are truly happy with their ‘stuff’ or with their corporate, high flying job. And maybe they are perfectly content.
Where we are right now is important. It might be sucky, it might be freakin’ amazing, but let’s take charge of our lives! How can you do that you ask?
+ Start a daily gratitude journal. Write down what you are thankful for and what is coming into your life. Did a friend buy you a cuppa? Did you get a squishy cuddle from that little baby? Did you get a movie voucher for a job well done? Embrace YOUR good fortunes and celebrate the good fortunes of others but don’t compare. Your incomings are perfect for you.
+ Your journey serves a higher purpose. You don’t know who is watching you or who you are impacting. What do you value? What is important to you? How can you be more kind to yourself in this season?
+ It’s not about the outside stuff you collect but on the internal work you are doing. Sure, buy things that add value to your life. I love a beautiful vase of flowers or a candle that spreads a fragrance across the room. However, how can you grow in your character? What do you need to do? At the end of our life what is it you want to be remembered for?
+ Pray. Ask for guidance. Grow your village mentality. We’re in this together. Let’s uplift one another through prayer, through mentoring and loving on one another and through being an encouragement in one another’s ‘village.’ Our western world ‘tall poppy syndrome’ is not good enough. Let’s not cut each other down but build one another.
What are you going to do this week to take charge of your life? How do you deal with the mini melt downs in your week? This week let’s try to be mindful that it’s not so much about what we can collect and gather materially (although wonderful at times), it’s about how can I grow myself in who God wants me to be and in the serving of others. I’d love to know your ideas. If you loved this post please share using the buttons below. We’d all love to know what you think.