Why goal setting doesn’t work for you

A Day of Delights

ebony and i

I’ve just come back from my overnight stay at the Gold Coast and my heart is just bursting with love and energy.  On Saturday I attended the Beautiful You Life Coaching Academy’s training day.  It was a day filled with laughter, inspiration, and learning.

And let me tell you I needed that after working two weeks on Naturopathy assignments!

Everything was just beautifully orchestrated from the gifts we received (a gorgeous lip balm, bath salts and an alchemical oil), to the intention we got to write on a beautiful card (mine was on a butterfly card!), to the one on one time we got to spend with our coaching partner.

During the day we learnt about the importance of goal setting.  I’m one of those people who absolutely thrive on goals.  I set my New Year’s Resolutions and I go for it! It’s what keeps me motivated.

But if I’m really going to be honest with you there are times when I have failed with the ‘actioning’ of my goals and I’m sure you have too.

Why is that? Do we set over ambitious goals? Do we lose sight of the end? Or do we just plain ol’ get overwhelmed?

The #1 Reason Why Your Goals Aren’t Working for You

The reason why your goals aren’t working for you is because often we set them in the negative.  Quit smoking. Lose weight. Get out of debt.  See how ‘icky’ that is? That makes the results want to run away from the goal!

How do you want to feel when you reach your goals? ‘Do you want to feel the ‘healthiest and most vibrant ever?’ or ‘Have financial freedom?’  Just changing these goals from the negative to the positive will make you jump up at wanting to excel spreadsheet your little spending splurges in order to have that financial freedom! I mean heck…who wouldn’t want to feel blissfully, free in their finances!

The Benefits of Goal Setting

We were asked at the beginning of the day to write down one word about how we wanted to feel at the end of the day.

I cheated and wrote down two.  I couldn’t decide.  I wrote confident and valued.

One of the benefits of goal setting is self confidence which can also lead on to feeling valued.

Terri Babers on her website ‘Positive Changes Coaching‘ writes that:

Research shows that there is a connection between self-confidence in general and being able to finish tasks and setting goals. Psychologists call it “self-efficacy.”

Why is goal setting important to self-efficacy and self-confidence? When you consciously set goals for yourself, you are more confident about making things happen, and you are more effective in life. Whether in the workplace, the classroom, or in personal life, goal-setting people are just more confident in themselves. As a result they …

+ Tend to set higher goals for themselves.
+ Are more committed to achieving them than when someone else assigns the goal.
+ Are more positive when they don’t actually get what they want.
+ Find and use more creative, effective strategies to achieve what they want.
+ Have less negative thoughts about their personal strivings and potential than when they don’t set goals.
+ Respond more positively to evaluation (including negative feedback) than people whose goals are set for them. (Locke & Latham, 1990; Seijts & B. W. Latham, 2001).

Stuck On Where to Start

Here are 5 steps on how to get started on goal setting:

  1. First of all make your goals more inspirational and in the positive.  No negativity!
  2. How will you achieve your goal? How will you know you have achieved your goal?
  3. Make them achievable.  By all means stretch yourself but is it tangible?
  4. Are they realistic and relevant?  Eg If you want to run a marathon what do you need to do to get there? Might be a good starting point to see how far you can run in the first place!
  5. Timely – Set a time limit on when you want to achieve your goals.

Celebrate

Don’t forget when you have achieved your goals to celebrate. It gives you something to look forward to!

I’m still stuck!

If you’re still stuck have you ever thought about working with a life coach?  A life coach is someone who will be your personal cheerleader!  They help you get from where you are to where you want to be!  They provide a level of accountability all while providing a safe haven for you to have your voice heard.

I’ve worked with a life coach to help me process what it was that I exactly wanted to do. She helped me to feel ‘unstuck.’ The next action step to my own beautiful goal setting is that I am just about to start working with another life coach, the lovely Claire Baker of ‘This is Lifeblood.’  I am deliriously excited about this!

Are you interested in your own personal cheerleader?

I have three spots left for coaching! If you are keen head over to my work with me page to check out the coaching packages available.  There’s a complimentary pre consult available to see if we would make a good fit.

I would be super thrilled, excited, ‘bounce off the couch happy’ to work with you.

The good news is that at the end of my coaching day I felt confident and valued! You can too!  You already are worthy. You just need to discover it!

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Diana is a spirituality life coach who works with anxious women who want to say ‘yes’ more. She knows what it feels like to be in a place of darkness – to not know yourself and where your inner light went – and how to move forward once you come out the other side. With seven years experience as a high school teacher, Diana asks the right questions to guide you into a deep acceptance of who you are helping you see your true beauty. You can learn more about Diana and get instant access to the Freebie Vault (free e-books, guides, prayers + toolkits), when you sign up on the V.I.P list. You can also send an email to Diana at: thebutterflyhouse@dianabraybrooke.com.

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