Diana Braybrooke

The Numbers Game

Today I am on a rant about numbers. As you know I had food poisoning a few weeks ago and I noticed that my Instagram numbers had dropped off. I always notice this when I have had time off from posting.

It irritates me that we live in a world that is all about instant gratification. That person hasn’t posted another acai bowl for like 2 minutes, I think I’ll move onto that other foodie who posts everything including the used serviette (and yes I used the word serviette because napkin is a creepy word – think about it).

We’ve become numb that there are REAL people on the other side of the screen. So that comment you put on that blog post ‘in love’ because you want more damn acai bowls rather than cats playing pianos, you feel entitled to do so. Heck, unlike my Facebook page because I used the word God instead of Universe or Higher Being because you think I’m supposed to pander to you but yet you want me to be my most authentic self.

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At the beginning of the year I had the privilege to be mentored and be coached under the wonderful Elle Griffin, founder and editor-in-chief of Over the Moon magazine. Elle is also the host of Over The Moon Radio and is a writer & speaker of the Divine Feminine and a Catholic scholar of the Virgin Mary. She is currently completing her Graduate Degree in Mariology at the International Marian Research Institute at the University of Dayton and spends her spare time hosting full moon parties and writing young adult fiction novels. You can follow Elle on Instagram @griffinelle or view her magazine HERE. Elle is the one who inspired me to open the doors to my life coaching biz! It is so cool and a privilege to do what we do and I am so thankful for this dear heart and her influence over my life. 

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So I just spend 5 hrs writing my blog post for the week and I’m just not feeling it. This one you are reading right now is obviously not it. I thought I was supposed to write the previous post because I had woken up with this phrase from God “Be Holy for I am Holy” but the more I tried to write it the more it felt forced which lead to 5 hrs of pushing, resistance and fatigue.

And it probably doesn’t help that I have my periods and it’s wiped me out.

Now you’re thinking too much information Di, too much.

But hear me out.

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Hey Hey Lovely,

So I’m still here feeling the heaviness. I’m still in that spiritual dry patch.

I feel icky. I feel like I’m anchored down. Weighted.

As I avoid processing my emotions each day, the worse the feeling gets.

Emotions of anger, injustice, sadness and unworthiness.

Suppressing the emotions is like a good ole’ fashion ginger beer. You know, the type that’s made in the bottle. I’m not a ginger beer making expert but what I do know is it can explode. It explodes because of the pressure caused by carbonation.

And for those of you unsure, carbonation is just the process of dissolving carbon dioxide in liquid. In other words it’s the stuff that makes it fizzy. The bubbles.

So my emotions have been like those little bubbles. Each bubble an emotion. Bubbling away inside of the bottle, waiting to explode because of the increasing pressure.
You see I’ve been bottling well. And just like Ginger Beer once it’s all released and the bubbles have settled it will taste good. (Just go with the story for now, even if you hate ginger beer. Apply it to your drink of choice).

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I’ve been feeling spiritually dry of late.

Yep I said it. The spirituality coach is spiritually dry.

We all go through seasons where our faith is tested. Where we feel like God is silent. Sometimes, we actively avoid Him so we don’t need to process or grow through what He’s allowed to come into our life.

As you know I’ve had a migraine the past 3 weeks. Sometimes pain can just be that, physical but often it can be a sign that something needs to be done further. So I took a step back from looking at the computer so much and once I sunk into the emotion I realised I was really angry.

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