Hey gorgeous girls,
I’m back from my 1 week blog holiday and even though I wouldn’t say I’m bouncing with energy (because you know, staying up too late to read books after my toddler goes to sleep) is reality some times.
If you’re in the closed Facebook group HERE, you would have heard that I had a suspicious mole cut out.
Just before Christmas, I noticed a dark and raised mole on my leg and of course being the anxious type decided to Google melanomas on the world wide web.
I advise you. Probably not wise. I had convinced myself I was dying on Christmas Eve.
So, like most of you with anxiety, I did what you would probably do.
I CONTINUED TO GOOGLE SKIN CANCERS.
I also poked and prodded it and took pictures of it.
I scolded myself that I had not seen a doctor sooner. Then worried that if I booked an appointment and it was nothing that I’d look like a complete twat and have wasted $87.
Anyways, so I booked the appointment and had a thorough check.
Turns out THAT mole on my leg was fine but THAT mole on my arm had some characteristics of a Melanoma.
I mentioned to the doctor ‘You do realise I have an anxiety disorder and will most likely think about this until the results come back.’
Doctor laughs. ‘Oh. Don’t do that. Think about something positive.’
I groaned internally.
That old line. (Did I mention when I asked him whether there were any other symptoms if it were a stage 4 Melanoma that he responded ‘No. Not really.’ Seriously. NOT HELPING ME).
Well it didn’t work. I thought about it constantly. I cried. I thought about writing letters for Flynn every year he could open up on his birthday.
The next day I decided to go to Yoga to take my mind off it. (Despite the doctor telling me to not go because I’m not supposed to weight bear). I modified the positions so I didn’t place weight on that arm. I sunk into my practice.
What if I died and all I did was work? Would it really matter then?
I realised once more that I am much more than the work I do here.
I need to have more FUN.
I need to have more STILLNESS.
I need to process my emotions and my needs even more. EVEN IF it makes me feel uncomfortable.
Whatever challenges you are facing right now I want you to know how truly loved you are. I want you to step back from the circumstances and strip it all back.
You could even start with these prompts below:
People may not…
I have a right to ask for…
To protect my time and energy, it’s ok to…
Sometimes it’s just about awareness.
It’s about being ok to cry when you are scared at a potential life changing illness.
It’s about finding ways to not react and play the scenario over and over like a movie on repeat in your mind.
It’s sometimes about being uncomfortable BUT being ok with being uncomfortable.
And knowing that often more times than not, change is on the other side of feeling uncomfortable.
For me, people may not take my power away from me. I have a right to ask for space. To protect my time and energy , it’s ok to say ‘no’ to volunteering excessively in the name of ‘mission’, to take on clients who are committed to showing up regularly and to get a good night’s sleep (although that is definitely something that needs to happen more).
What else could you do if you had to deal with a scary diagnosis?
- Contact a friend so you don’t bottle the emotions up inside.
- Sit down with an art pad, some pens and draw out your emotions. What are you feeling? Where do you feel that in your body?
- Write down your concerns and ASK your doctor. If you find you aren’t gelling with the doctor find one who does understand your anxiety. (The doctor I had wasn’t my usual doctor).
- Write it out in your journal.
- Speak to someone who has been through the same thing you are going through. Ask them what helped them to get through it.
- Don’t linger in the future projecting. Feel it, because let’s face it, if you’re anxious and you know it (don’t clap your hands), over think it. Go there. What are you scared about? Set a timer even. 5 minutes. Then move onto another strategy to help to dial it down.
- Talk therapy
How about you? How do you deal when a scary situation is thrown at you?
If you want to have someone to walk through those situations with you and can guide you on how you can alleviate your anxiety so you aren’t packing your dacks (that’s underwear for the non-Aussies here), email me: firstname.lastname@example.org Alleviate your anxiety packages are limited! Please share using the buttons below if you loved the post.