So today I’m going to talk to you about something I’ve noticed you’re frustrated about. So frustrated like the way I am when I find out my favourite coffee shop is closed on a Sunday morning and the only thing left to do is grind my own beans and put it through the Aeropress.
Now even though the Aeropressed coffee is pretty sweet, there’s still that frustration there because I wasn’t actually able to go to my fav coffee shop to purchase my large cappuccino in those giant blue cups they provide. You know those ones that are as large as your head. I don’t get to just get away from it all for a moment. I’m left sipping my Aeropress coffee in my fav cup in the size of my 18 month’s old head instead. It’s too small and even though it’s super cute, sometimes there’s something about getting out and about, having the coffee made for you and just savouring the moment.
Stay with me one moment.
I’m going to address the frustration of people’s well-to-do comments on your anxiety that leave you frustrated like when I can’t get my large cappuccino in the super giant blue cups (as large as my head right).
It’s the whole ‘your anxiety is just in your mind. Just push through it and get over it’ mentality.
That’s like telling me to gulp down my Aeropressed coffee and to just push through those thoughts of frustration that I can’t get my giant big as my head artisan coffee and to just get over it.
Now here’s the thing, yes I can accept that I have to drink my Aeropress coffee, just like you accept that anxiety is a part of your life in some way or another…
But to tell me to sip my Aeropress coffee and to convince myself that it’s the same as the artisan coffee down the road isn’t going to cut it darling! Especially when I was looking forward to my artisan coffee to only find out that it is closed.
And that’s what it is like with anxiety. Anxiety is the Aeropress coffee, it’s there, it serves a need somehow but it’s going about it all the wrong way.
And you just can’t get over it because you know that the artisan coffee is so much better. There’s nothing you can do about it right now because the café is closed but you can work through that need to have that liquid brown oh so delicious goodness when it’s open.
Anxiety takes time to process.
It’s not just ‘in your head.’
I mean you even actively made plans that day to tackle the anxiety, to have the delicious cappuccino in the glorious blue cup on the Sunday because you want freedom from anxiety. What stopped you in your tracks was that it was closed. No amount of wishing or changing your mindset could make that aeropress coffee a gorgeous fluffy cappuccino with the heart shaped chocolate dusted on top. I couldn’t force the coffee shop owners to open their shop.
//You can’t just wish away your anxiety.
//You can’t just make anxiety disappear with a few positive affirmations.
//You can’t just make stuff up in your head when it comes to anxiety because it feels paralysing to you so who is to saying your experience is not valid.
Anxiety is a process.
Anxiety is wired in when anger, guilt, sadness, shame, fear and resentment occur.
Anxiety gets wired out once you recognise where and when it got wired in and then make steps to work through it.
Can I say it again?
It’s not all in your head.
It’s not just about making a choice and feeling anxiety free right then and there.
//It starts with a decision to work on your anxiety triggers (the things that set your anxiety off and has you diving under the blankets and wanting to hide all day).
//It starts with asking for help.
//It starts with learning about assertive communication (you know, learning how to fight fair and stand up for yourself).
//It starts with forgiving yourself.
//It starts with putting the tension back in the well-doers (most likely coffee free) courts by saying “I notice every time you come over you tell me to get over my anxiety and to just think more positively. Why is that?”
Challenge them. Call them out on it. Your anxiety is worth more than the Aeropressed coffee. You deserve the freshly made cappuccino in the hot blue cup.
Are you ready to call the well-doers out on their motivational quotes? What’s stopping you? Email me and get on a call with me and find out how you can enjoy your cappuccino in your own time without people pressuring you to just enjoy what you have with the Aeropressed coffee and to move on. You can email me here: firstname.lastname@example.org
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