Christmas 2003. Oh, I remember it well. It was the first time my (now ex ) husband disappeared. He’d been acting weird that morning. Told me he loved me and looked into my eyes that little bit longer (not in a longing way, but a foreboding way). Even now as I retell the story, it is so obvious things in my marriage were not right.

When marriage doesn’t work out

Later that evening, I would come home to a handwritten note: “I don’t know myself. You deserve better. I’m sorry. Don’t come looking for me.

I was 21 and had wide eyes for this marriage. I couldn’t understand how someone could supposedly love you so much but also do such awful things to you. I mean, I had done everything right, hadn’t I? I had met him while in youth group at my church, we did Bible College together, and even abstained from sex until marriage. It’s supposed to work when you do these things. Right?

How wrong I was.

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