This week I went back to my teaching job for the year. I’ve gone back with a real peace in my spirit that God really has something in this for me and to just be really organised this year to avoid overwhelm.

I’m generally an organised person but stress still plays a massive role in my life.

The best kinda way to describe stress is like those elastic bands. Each time a new stress is added, another gets added to the ball. Eventually it becomes so big that you can even bounce the ball about. It’s jumping all over the place. And if you cut the elastic it starts to contract back, wriggling away into its former state.

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Hey gorgeous girls,

I’m back from my 1 week blog holiday and even though I wouldn’t say I’m bouncing with energy (because you know, staying up too late to read books after my toddler goes to sleep) is reality some times.

If you’re in the closed Facebook group HERE, you would have heard that I had a suspicious mole cut out.

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Oh hey there gorgeous,

Did you have a great Christmas? I had an awesome one hanging out with family.  (And I finally finished my Cecilia Ahern book ‘Lyrebird.’ Ahhhmazing!)

I can’t believe2016 is nearly over.

For some of you, you’re excited. 2016 was a year of stretching for you. I know a lot of you have gone through significant hurts and losses but I hope that in amidst it all you did have pockets of sunshine that beamed through in your darkest night.

Perhaps a friend gave you that much needed hug or prepared you a meal to help you get through.

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Hey gorgeous,

I’m one of those people who thrive on New Year’s Resolutions, but I know some of you aren’t like that, and that’s totally cool.

The other thing I do know?

I’m hopelessly devoted to serving you next year.

I’ve been listening closely, all year long, and the #1 struggle that you’ve shared with me is that you want to alleviate your anxiety and along with that you want more energy in your day.

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Oh hey there gorgeous one.

By the time you read this I will have celebrated my 7 year wedding anniversary.

It’s been a time of some amazing (and challenging) adventures (like travelling to Italy and walking inside the Florence Duomo even though I have a fear of heights).

It’s also had some low moments. The time my husband and I battled infertility and felt like we were on a roller coaster of emotions. The highs where we thought I might be pregnant and then the fast descent where you start to plummet to the bottom of the ride where seeing pregnant people was enough to make me cry and statements like ‘just relax’ were enough to make me claw peoples’ eyes out.

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It was the last day of school. I’d cleaned up my desk, finished reports and had planned out the next term’s work. At the last minute I decided to check my business email as I really wanted to be present for my cute as a button toddler Flynn.

As I opened it up I saw ‘Congratulations’ peeping in the email.

I opened it up to see that CEO and Founder of the Beautiful You Life Coaching Academy Julie Parker had nominated me for a Shine Award.

I may have cried a little.

I have been working really hard behind the scenes to really make something of what I do, which is to help you as a woman with anxiety feel  more confident and calm.

Cause having anxiety sucks. It’s freaking scary sometimes, like the time I was driving on a dirt road too fast and starting fish tailing across the road before stopping paper thin close next to a tree.

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So I’ve been running my coaching business for just over 2 years now and in that time I’ve felt bouts of envy towards other coaches. You know the kind of envy that you get when you’re procrastinating on working  towards your dream because it all seems too much and then you torture yourself further by going through their Instagram pages gobsmacked at that perfect downward dog on the beach just as a wave is crashing nearby.

They’re sooooooooo damn perfect!

Why is it they seem to get all the attention?

Then the questions start coming doesn’t it?

Is it because I’m not cool enough, drink enough green juice or use the right filter on my Instagram photos?

And perhaps you start equating it with your worth?

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I am the whisper in the trees,

Lean in.

Can you hear me?

I am magnificent. Yours.

A soul whisper, gently on the breeze,

Speaking to your beating heart,

A heart that longs to rest.

Come, dear one.

Sit under the warmth of my branches,

Where I can caress you,

Nurture you, protect you from the heat of the day.

My leaves dance in your presence,

They delight in the beauty of who you are.

You are magnificent, the whisper gets stronger.

You are beauty because you grow in my greatness,

My arms stretch out over you,

You see shadows, but I see love personified,

Outstretched over you so these soul whispers can continue to get louder.

Will you listen?

Close your eyes so you can hear my message.

Deeply breathe in the oxygen I give you so freely,

Now can you hear me?

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Oh little bumblebee, I see you.

Busying yourself, rushing around.

Pleasing everyone else,

Thinking that this is what you need to do to feel important.

 

This day was different. She had vowed that!

A rostered day off, how marvellous.

A fresh day, so new.

She began the day like she usually would,

Working…

But the bumblebee paused.

What’s the point in producing all of this nectar ,

If she couldn’t freely taste it’s sweetness?

 

The bumblebee decided she would go on an adventure,

She would take stock of all that was important to her,

As a high flyer she put her strategies out.

She knew she needed just enough structure to start moving forward.

 

As she mapped out her plan (with enough space to just have fun),

She felt the wind lift her wings up,

Like those majestic hot air balloons she had seen in her daisy filled field.

 

The bumblebee took flight.

She stopped to rest.

How soft the petals were…

And that aroma as sweet as the nectar she collected from it.

 

She had a taste of it now,

The bumblebee needed this time to be more productive at work,

For she wasn’t her work,

She was designed for far more than that.

It was to be a delight to her queen.

 

The bumblebee returned home,

With fresh vision and sweetness,

She knew that she wasn’t flying and competing with others for her nectar,

For each bumblebee collected a nectar that was unique to them.

 

Her nectar was the sweetness of knowing in her heart that she is loved.

She didn’t need to prove her worth,

Even though she knew there would be times where she doubted it.
The bumblebee was a vital and important part of her ecosystem.

 

Just because she chose to live.

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If you’ve been reading the blog for a while you will have noticed I have been on and off sick for the past 3 months. To ensure my health can be given the priority it needs I am taking some time off to recharge and heal.

If you are looking for ways to help with your anxiety I suggest the following:

• Head to the closed Facebook group where women with anxiety can share openly about their struggles, their wins and cheer one another on. There are heaps of free tips in there (including free group coaching…umm hello? Soooo good!). You can join the group HERE.
• You can shoot me off an email, say ‘Hi’ and let me know how you are going. I’d love to hear from you. You can do that at: thebutterflyhouse@dianabraybrooke.com
• You can subscribe and get instant (and Free) access to valuable resources to help you with your anxiety. There’s a meditation in there and stacks of books with prompts and activities to help you with your anxiety. You can sign up in the subscriber box below or above. I promise I won’t spam you.

I’m so looking forward to coming back into this space refreshed and with new energy.

Keep looking for the beauty in your ashes.