Yo.

So I totally had a baby.

Everybody meet Estelle Avis Braybrooke.

Estelle meet everyone.

*Estelle farts in your general direction 😉 Then gives a cute smile.*

It’s taken me 7 weeks to feel ready to share with you. I remember when I had Flynn back in 2015 I blogged the very week I had him, that’s how much of a workaholic I had become. I couldn’t ‘break’ the rules of blogging every week so I wrote to you all.

This time round I have softened.

There’s no need to blog straight away because I don’t need the validation anymore.

I need sleep lol.

Soooo the beautiful Estelle arrived on Monday 24th June 2019 at 3:24 am in the morning, a week early.  (Flynn came 2 weeks early).

I was starting to have back pain on the Sunday morning around 5 am and it continued to intensified so we called Dave’s mum to come and collect Flynn just in case.

I used hypnobirthing the whole time.

I loved not being fearful of birth. The beautiful affirmations and the light touch massage technique that Dave was able to use on me helped me immensely.

The back labour continued, same as what I had with Flynn. We tracked the timings and they were coming regularly so we went in to be told my contractions had stopped and I was only 2 cms.

I cried.

I was told the baby (cause we didn’t know what the baby’s sex was at the time) was posterior and that the first part of labour was going to probably be prolonged.

I was given my option.

I cried.

I blurted out that ‘I am a failure.’

To which my beautiful obstetrician showed nothing but compassion and assured me that I was not a failure.

So in I went for my emergency caesarean and out came a baby girl whom we called Estelle Avis Braybrooke.

Estelle, just because it is a pretty name.

Avis was twofold.

And nooooo it was not after the rent-a-car company 😉

Avis was the name of my nana and I was incredibly close to her when she was alive. She was my best friend. She ended up with stomach cancer and passed away when I was in year 11. I gave her Eulogy which was incredibly tough for 16 year old me.

My nana was also named after the French nurse who saved my great grandfather’s life in World War one as he laid wounded on the battlefields.

For those 2 ladies I honour them. I give thanks and I give their name to our lovely daughter.

Because brave women run in this family.

We are sooo in love with her.

We are so in love with God for gifting her to us.

He sees our heart’s desires and also honours them.

‘I prayed for this child and God gave me what I asked for.’ 1 Samuel 1:27

You see I had wanted a girl to pass on the name Avis to and this being our last child (unless another miracle happens lol) asked God for a girl.

Obviously, I would have been happy for a little boy. I mean, Flynn is adorable and was so healing on this journey of motherhood. He has softened me, grown me, healed my mother-daughter (and yes I know Flynn’s a boy – hopefully you know what I mean), wounds like never before. We have a bond like no other. I adore this sweet little boy so much.

And Estelle is now here and she adds another type of richness to this family.

Equally valuable and oh sooo loved.

So while I am here let me share some lessons and thoughts I’ve learnt 2nd time round parenting:

Breastfeeding will be easier this time

I really struggled to breast feed Flynn. I ended up with the trifecta of breastfeeding, expressing and then a final top up of formula. The whole process took over 2 hrs. I cried a lot.

It messed with my head and then at the 5 month mark I gave into formula feeding him.

This time round I came in cynical. I wrote instagram posts about how much I hated breastfeeding.

Then Estelle came and she latched on and fed like a champ in the hospital.

It wasn’t without minor challenges.

Once home she wouldn’t latch, again I would be up for over an hr trying to latch. She was screaming, I was crying. Ohhh it was so glorious.

But then we saw a lactation consultant, learnt some new holds, bought myself a nipple shield and Estelle now gets on every time.

Lesson: Fed is best and each experience is different.

Vaginal birth seems to be the Holy Grail of birthing

Ok, ok. I’m going to sound a bit annoyed at this point.

I tried to VBAC. For those of you not in the know with acronyms it’s vaginal birth after a caesarean.

I ended up with an emergency caesarean.

Whenever anyone asked me about ‘did I vbac?’ or ‘did you have ANOTHER caesarean?’ a little part of me got really upset on the inside.

It’s like vaginal birth is the holy grail of birthing.

Why does it matter if I had to have Estelle come out of the sun roof?

Does it honestly matter if she didn’t get squeezed out of my hoo ha?

When we question mothers about this it can make them feel like they were second rate at birthing. A failure as I so eloquently put it in the birth suites.

Lesson: Please can you come up with a better first question then did you have a caesarean?

P.S If you gave birth via vagina this is not an attack on you. I think you’re awesome and it really is not easy. This is also a public service announcement that I have midwife friends who asked who love knowing about this and I didn’t mind telling them because I know they love that info.

Girls can spray

People told us about how boys will wee all over everything and I can tell you that Flynn did that only twice.

Estelle has a 98% rate of weeing and pooping all over the whole change table and her clothing.

Boys spray up and out.

She tends to spray onto the mat which then bounces up and out.

We had this really nice soft change cover on it but now we keep the plastic on it for easy clean.

She cracks me up on how ridiculous her skills are. Who knew it would be our girl who had such mad skills.

Second time parenting is much easier

It is true. Second time round is easier. Instinct kicks in quicker. So does the sleep deprivation.

The challenge has been keeping our 4 year old occupied and being able to help him while feeding Estelle constantly. Flynn no longer naps and is quite active so trying to help him and help Estelle has been challenging but I’m getting there. I miss not being able to nap whenever which is what I could do with him.

My body bounced back quicker this time round, I was able to get back to my pre-baby weight pretty much in the first 2 weeks but with Flynn I never returned back to my pre-baby weight and took a year to lose 10 kgs.  I’m not focussed on weight loss. It’s not a priority after having a baby but it is something I noticed differently this time round.

You’ll come to know the Father Heart of God even MORE so.

There’s something about the combo of sleep deprivation, the quiet nights in solitude (apart from the baby of course) and new life that brings awareness to the fact that we are God’s children. That I am sooo loved by God. That He longs for me to spend time with Him. He longs for me to be held by him. He loves me unconditionally, even more so than I do for my children.

In the quiet stillness of the night I feel God’s presence surrounding me. I pray for Estelle and for Flynn. I pray for my husband. There are no distractions really cause I’m feeding from the comfort of my bed. And I feel loved.

What are some lessons you’ve learnt in parenting? Comment below I’d love to hear from you.  If you loved the post PLEASE SHARE it using the buttons below.

You are so loved!